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An American in China

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Scandal at APEC, Putin Hitting on Xi Jinping’s Wife?

Posted by w_thames_the_d on November 11, 2014


Did Vladmir ‘Pooty Pute’ Putin score at APEC?

Putin
‘This meeting is so fucking boring. I wish there was something fun to do; kill Ukrainians or something’

China’s first lady thinking, ‘I wish i could meet real man. Not only is Xi’s pecker the size of a hangnail, but it quit working decades ago. And what is with all that lipstick he wears? Oh sigh,…I Wish i could get some strange…’
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China’s first lady to herself.’To hell with it, looks like Xi would rather be canoodling with Obama than his Major General wife. That wanksock.’ Straightens her hair, hacks up a wad of phlegm and spits.

Then to Putin,’That way, over there.’
Putin, ‘Huh?’

China’s first lady, ‘A hotel. It has big bed.’

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Putin, yawns, ‘Interesting.’ Turns away.

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40 minutes later
Putin, thinking, ‘I am at the end of my rope. If they don’t bring me somebody to torture I’m going to die. At least let me kick and Afghani in his nuts or something.’

Glances around, mumbles, ‘Shit this is boring. Who but the dumbass Chinese would hold a November summit in a swimming pool?

It’s cold as hell. My hammer and sickle are the size of mice paws. Damn the Chinese!’

Then it hits him. He glances over, sees Xi practically in Obama’s lap and has an idea. His mind races, ‘What the hell am I thinking, I am Vladimir Putin, the sexiest midget on the planet. They don’t call me ‘Vlad the Impaler’ for nothing.’

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To himself, ‘Looks like its time for another invasion. Heheh. Turns to Peng Liyuan who just then had groped his summer sausage.

‘Uh, hey. You are in the military, right?’

China’s first lady, face reddening, ‘Why yes, yes I am. In the dance troupe actually. Did you know that after the non-massacre in 1989 I treated the troops to a lulaby.’

Putin, face tightening in remorse. Thinks to himself, ‘The shit a guy’s got to put up with in order to get some tang.’

Then remembers that ‘first hag’ Peng is still talking, glances back at her liver lips blubbering.

China’s first lady, ‘Why yes I did. Anything for the motherland. Why if you would like, I could sing that same song to you right now….’

Without missing a beat, first hag breaks into an ear splitting rendition of ‘its ok, its ok, its ok to kills students for the motherland….!

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Right as she reaches the climax of the song and is ready to hail those brave men who fearlessly crouched in their tanks and spewed forth a 50 caliber reminder that Beijing should not be questioned, Putin had enough. He springs to his feet and lifts her up.

Clamping his pepper shaker sized paw over her mustard colored maw, he dry humps her and whispers, ‘You ever eaten Russian?’

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After moments of frenzied thrusting followed by a minor tremble, the two decouple. She is ecstatcic, ‘Wow you Russian bear! I think we pulled a Monica and Clinton. Is that your man-mayonnaise on my back or did somebody hit me with sherbert?’

Putin smiles in that cagey, ‘Take your eyes off and me and your dead,’ look. Then chuckles, ‘Don’t worry ‘old yeller’, I got just the thing for that. We can cover up our little escapade with this.’

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China’s first lady, ‘Why yes, yes, this will do just fine.
My my my, what a splendid night it has been.’

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After a good scrubbing, she hands back the coat.

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‘Now it’s your turn,’ she giggles and crouches under the table.

Posted in Beijing Smog, Big brother..., China, China Fact, China What they are commenting online, Chinese sayings, Counterfeits and such, Cultural oddities, Food, Jobs, Let me educate you..., News From China- Whats hot, People, Photos | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

Comprehensive List of All the things You Will Love About China- Tales from the Crypt

Posted by w_thames_the_d on November 9, 2014


Living in China has made me an authority on China. In my quest to share such knowledge, I have started my ‘Tales from the Crypt’ posts which explain in detail the realities of China.

The following is a comprehensive list of all the things you will love about the PRC, should you decide to visit and or live there:

.

.

Posted in Beijing Smog, Beijing Smog- Daily pics, Big brother..., China, China Fact, China What they are commenting online, Chinese sayings, Counterfeits and such, Cultural oddities, Food, Jobs, Let me educate you..., News From China- Whats hot, People, Photos | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Poll, Americans Don’t Like China

Posted by w_thames_the_d on November 8, 2014


Below are results of a poll showing why I love America. It took us merely a decade to realize just how bad China is. As a consequence, Americans do not like the PRC, nor do they want to engage it.

In all honesty, if we polled Chinese we would see that they hate the PRC more than we do…

Excerpt
In a recent poll by The Chicago Council on Global Affairs (disclosure: I work at the Council, but am not involved in polling), Americans rated China just behind the U.S. as the most influential country in the world, ahead of the EU as a whole. But as China’s influence grows, the Council’s polling shows that Americans have less interest in engaging China. Only 33 percent of Americans encourage developing stronger ties with China – down from 40 percent in 2012. And the majority of Americans are willing to risk relations with China for developing stronger relations with regional allies. Finally, a large majority, 77 percent, propose spying on China.

Posted in China Fact, China What they are commenting online, Cultural oddities, Let me educate you..., News From China- Whats hot | Tagged: , | Leave a Comment »

Tales from the Crypt- Mao’s Rotting Corpse and Soul-less Chinese, Working in China

Posted by w_thames_the_d on November 2, 2014


I read some book by a lady with a name too long to pronounce and hard-coded with far too many consonants to remember, but that book is a primer on China. In a while I will dig up her name but lets talk about the PRC first.

I never wanted to go to China, Asia was not my thing. My uni had a few China-philes but we didn’t run together. My preference was for all things Spanish. Their zest for life, the colors, the language, music, their inner being.

It was with not a little sadness that I flew the coop on a supposed one-year stint in China, which was to be capped off with a thorough body wash and then return to all things civil. One thing lead to another and Days turned to weeks and suddenly the calendar was replacing ‘0’s with 1’s and my 365 year gig had septupled.

The words ‘love’ and ‘passion’ were not associated with my stay there. In fact, ‘morbid curiosity’ and ‘masochism’ are more likely candidates for anything I felt. The simple fact is that China has a tar black hole in its inner-most being which most people associate with the complete and utter absence of good and humanity. Perhaps I should explain…

Headings go here..
To keep myself from wandering, I will slap headings before my rant. These will also let you keep track of which path my ADD enhanced mind currently rambles down.

Chinese are soulless
Referring back to the book whose name I cannot recall, I would like to say that Chinese are cruel. No, not in that ‘fat school kid who always got picked on’ way, but that deep down cruelty exposing an excess of depravity that only thousands of years of hatred and grief could create. The People in China are the most soulless i have ever met.

Lets reflect on that sentiment for a moment.

My job has taken me to some pretty rough places and my natural charm and endearing way has put me in the path of some very strange people. I’ve guns pulled on me by Mexican cops, been robbed by the law in Brazil too. Those men were tender compared to the Rio mulatto who tried to separate my internal organs for me just to get at the coin in my pocket.

What all those people had in commom, for the most part, was a sense of humanity. Sure that guy in Rio did not look like a saint as he gashed at my innards so I would stop pummeling him with blows, but before it all went down, his eyes flashed human. He was merely a homeless person with friends and family to feed. Had I given him cash he would have had no reason to attack me. I did not and he did. Lucky for me it ended in a draw. He and his buddies got the equivalent of $0.50 and I got away unharmed. But as I said, inside he was human

Chinese are cruel
It may sound a little less than politically correct to say this, but Chinese are inhumanly cruel. As you may have figured out, ‘trouble’ and ‘your humble author’ are pretty good friends. It does not follow me, but for some reason I pursue it with a vigor. My day job taxes my boredom bone which leaves me empty. Chasing danger fills a need which sitting on my ass for eight hours at a time cannot. The benefit of this hobby is that it has enabled me to peer into the souls of the most depraved people one could meet. But almost without exception, in all that depravity I saw a spark, a smidgeon of goodness. That quick glimpse of humanity quickly covered over by grief, greed or madness. Nonetheless, inside there was something human with which I could relate.

And then came China
China is famous for its ‘kill all but one child’ policy, but to those people it is nothing new. In fact, baby killing or infanticide is as old as China. A couple thousand years ago some pig-faced emperor declared that starving families could dine on their child, as long as it was a girl.

When these people were not noshing on female femurs, they were tossing them off cliffs. The Chinese had a custom of discarding unwanted baby girls into a pile on the outskirts of town. This started before China proper itself, and is still happening today.

The Chinese are inhumanly cruel

But what does this have to do with working in China?
Dragging my liberated brain back to the subject matter, I contend that thousands of years of inhumanity have deformed the mainland DNA. Sure, there are great people in China, but that layer of sickness pervades. You see it in the way they treat each other, their kids, animals and especially you. The Chinese are inhumanly cruel.

The book written by the woman whose name has too many consonants spoke about this, tangentially at least. She writes about a Canadian woman who came to China not long after I did. That woman was looking to be a model and lit in Shanghai. After doing bar gigs she found herself on the wrong end of some steel and was filleted by some local. The poor woman never even saw it coming.

Chinese will lie
This woman, like most of us, probably thought China was no different than anyplace else. Of course it may be rough, but the Chinese were human, right?

Her innocence lead her into the steaming bowels of inhumanity that typifies Chinese business today. In a country which predicates the permitted murder of infants on their perceived ability to generate wealth, civility is stuffed in the trunk. China is to society what ‘Oz’ was to prisons, a perfect storm of neurosis, predation and opportunity which lead to the dehumanization of everyone. In China it is truly a dog-eat-dog world.

Just the facts sir
Back to the woman and the book with a name. I now recall, ‘the City Swallowed Them’. The author describes this poor Canadian who was brought to China under false pretenses, which aptly describes just about anyone who has worked there.

Jobs in China and people pimping them abound, and they all share one common theme. If you work in China, you are going to get fuked. It is the nature of the beast.

Chinese worship cash
Perhaps its the thousand year history of monetizing the suffering of others or some latent gene sprung to the fore by a controlled gene pool, but the Chinese often lack that which the rest of the world would call humanity. They think nothing of twisting truths and luring people from 6000 miles away and then abusing them as if they were chattle. Lies, treachery, manipulation, the grease enabling China’s economic rise.

In my life I have never been cheated out of a day’s wage, with the exception of China. In that country I have never not been cheated, with the exception of helping friends, there were no exceptions.

The difference between the Canadian woman who was killed in Shanghai and so many gullible westerners and me is that I came prepared. I’ve danced with the darkness, and knew what to expect. In China its every man for himself, a thing which is readily apparent. You pick up quickly on that and up your game, or you bitch and leave. China leaves no middle ground, you either attack or become tomorrow’s lunch.

This trait seemed to be common in the foreigners I met there. They were either ‘deer in headlights’ townies whose frustration had them calling daddy within months or those who merely rode the wave. They sealed themselves off from the subhuman vacuum and minimized contact with China. They stuck to their clique, worked gigs recommended by friends and saw China for what it is.

China is a swamp
Which brings me to the conclusion of this rant. China’s spiritual pestilence has a stultifying effect on one’s soul. In a country where random acts of ‘kindness’ are replaced with ‘treachery’ hardens one’s heart. Like I said above, this means you either get with it or get out, the thing to remember is that in China nothing is for free. Think about it like this…

If you are truly thinking of going to China, read a book or two. Try anything from the mid 19th century and you will have a good idea of what the. PRC is all about. Any country which condones the consumption of its children is not a good place. Remember I said that this was a holdover from antiquity, well I failed to state that it is still alive and well. In fact, there are still Chinese padding the streets with infant blood on their hands, during the late 1950’s and up the the late 60’s, Mao’s madness threw China into chaos and famine. In order to survive, the Chinese literally ate their youth. Jasper Becker can tell you all about it, just run an Amazon search on his name.

Now consider, if a people will go so far as to feast on the flesh of their own, what will they do to you?

Think about that as you consider that fantastic Teaching job in China or guided tour there. The Chinese are inhumanly cruel. Why else would the face of the world’s most prolific murderer adorn each and every banknote they have?

China should be treated with the same pestilence that it treats its youth and its livestock. Consider it the Ebola of humanity and cordon it off from your life.

Posted in China Fact, Cultural oddities, Food, Jobs, Let me educate you..., News From China- Whats hot, People, Photos, Prices in China, Product Quality, Subway, Traffic, Uncategorized, Video | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

China Exports Fake Dental Equipment?

Posted by w_thames_the_d on October 28, 2014


When will the world figure out that china is only good at autogenocide, misery and deceit.

Check this:
The products, ranging from drills to X-rays, were counterfeit copies of major brands or sub-standard with fake documentation.

Some products appeared to have official safety CE marks, but importers said it meant “Chinese export”.

The regulator said that dentists could be prosecuted if they knowingly bought equipment that put patients at risk.

The items were discovered during an investigation by the Medicines and Healthcare Regulatory Agency (MHRA), which is responsible for making sure that dental equipment in the UK meets safety standards.

Among the items seized on arrival in the UK were poorly made dentist power drills and handheld X-ray machines with dangerous wiring.

‘Serious damage’
Danny Lee-Frost, from the MHRA enforcement team, said there was a real risk to patients from equipment that does not meet strict European safety standards.

He said: “We don’t need to stretch your imagination too far to think if you’ve got a high-speed drill, operating at 30,000 revs per minute in close proximity to your teeth, and the end falls off, it’s going to do some pretty serious damage inside your mouth. “
Link http://flip.it/XxByT

Posted in China Fact, Counterfeits and such, Cultural oddities, Let me educate you..., News From China- Whats hot | Tagged: , | Leave a Comment »

Hacking Huawei Meet Xeroxing Xiaomi, Battle of Chinese Thieves

Posted by w_thames_the_d on October 28, 2014


Move over Hacking Huawei, there is a new thief in town! Say hello to my little Xiaomi.

For those of you who live in civilized countries with real humans, you probably never heard of Xiaomi. So here is a rundown:

From this site we see that Xiaomi is an Apple clone.

The creeper in charge of Xiaomi is named Lei Jun and he is a pathological Apple fan. A few years back he said he was waiting for Jobs to die so Xiaomi could take Apple’s place.

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In any event, Xiaomi has come out of nowhere to be a major cellphone company in China. Not surpringly, such firms usually have communist party backing and of course, Xiaomi’s boss is not only a communist but a member of its legislature as well.

One does not have to tax their mind to figure who Lei Jun is backing. But if you are too dumb to figure it out then let me help you. Take a look at the Xiaomi company mascot, a communist soldier-themed rabbit.

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If you look closely at the box the commie bunny is in front of you will see that he represents a pilot from 1921, the year the communist party was founded. Lei’s Red cred could hardly be less inconspicuous.

What has governments concerned is why Xiaomi is stealing customer data and shipping it off to Beijing even as we speak. This has been going on for months now and even in light of all the bad press, Xiaomi phines are still stealing.

Excerpt here

China has a company called Xiaomi which has lit up the cell phone industry. Its business model is to sell cheap smart phones with good specs to select groups at a time. Rather than selling vis traditional means, Xiaomi only sells online. Of course they cribbed this from Dell who had some it decades before, but Xiaomi adds a twist. In order to buy a phone one has to preregister. Yeah, you heard me right, and we are not talking iphones here. This Chinese startup has people convinced that their gear is so good that people in China prepaid just to be put on a waiting list to buy one. They now use this model, called ‘Hunger Marketing’ in southeast Asia as well.

The problem is that Xiaomi has only been selling internationally for less than one year and already Singapore, Taiwan, India, Hong Kong and Vietnam are upset about Xiaomi phones and data theft. F Secure proved that the Xiaomi ‘Red’Mi1S was copying the cyber sitters in Beijing on user data, notes, photos and more. Rather than cease and desist, Xiaomi sat on their hands,

This only served to anger those countries more and now Taiwan, Vietnam and India are considering bans of one kind or the other. The article below speaks to the threat that companies such as Xiaomi pose.

Excerpt from here

Informative eight minute video here. The two speakers discuss the dangers of The Indian Airforce using Xiaomi phones. Obviously It is not in India’s best interest to have data of their airforce personnel owned by Xiaomi, a Chinese firm. This danger is compounded by the fact that China has been increasingly pugnacious with all of its neighbors, including India. Aside from this, Lei Jun, Xiaomi’s founder, sits on the communist National People’s Congress. It takes little mental math to figure out where his loyalties lay.

Posted in China, China Fact, Counterfeits and such, Cultural oddities, Let me educate you..., News From China- Whats hot, Ranting in general, Working and Living in China | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Chinese Electric Death Car Coming to USA-Zotey Banned in China Sold in USA

Posted by w_thames_the_d on September 19, 2011


This fancy ‘auto’ will soon be coming to the USA. It looks so shiny and sparkly and safe. But this pos is made in China  so I really should not need to explain, but still I feel I must. This car is a dangerous piece of shit and if you but it you are a fool.

Ok now let me explain. Not all things made in China suck, after all many multinationals work there and force a level of quality, but this car is made in China by a chinese company so you do the math. More money was probably spent by the ‘execs’ on ktv kooze and bribes in the first few days of its manufacture than in all of the combined R and D of its soon to be ill fated lifespan.

Chinese death electric car

 

The photo above is what you will see at the dealership but the photo below is the Zotye in its natural habitat…

 

That is right. This car caught fire in southern China and ALL taxis from this manufacturer are being banned from use in CHINA.

Hmmm if the Chinese are banning it then it must really suck. But rest assured in our ignorance and with a little help from big business who will assure us the Chinese quality is sparkling, then we as a country will buy. And probably we as a country will fry.

But then maybe I am being hasty or cynical. But my recommendation is that if you are considering purchasing one of these stellar feats of Chinese engineering that  you consider buying  this below…

 

 

 

 

Or maybe not. After all, if you are dumb enough to buy a car made in China then you deserve what you get and its time to ‘thin the herd’ anyway…

Posted in China Fact, News From China- Whats hot, Photos, Product Quality | Leave a Comment »

China Sells its HIgh Speed Death to Georgia

Posted by w_thames_the_d on September 15, 2011


The country of Georgia must see something that your humble author does not. They have placed an order for 40 locomotives- loco as in ‘ you are freaking loco if you are going to buy trains made in China for they are shit and will derail and kill your citizens’.
I guess that their former form of governance has left them as bright as the Chinese and they see nothing wrong with making a purchase of terror trains from China.
(photo from ctv.ca)

Posted in China Fact, News From China- Whats hot, Product Quality | 4 Comments »

Ax Murderer Strikes in China

Posted by w_thames_the_d on September 14, 2011


Post from here:
“(AP) BEIJING – A mentally disturbed man with an ax attacked children and parents walking on a city street in central China on Wednesday, killing six, local officials said.

Three adults and one child died at the scene of the early morning assault on the outskirts of the city of Gongyi, and another child and one other adult later succumbed to their wounds, a city government spokeswoman said, reading from an official statement.”
Continue here
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/09/14/501364/main20105913.shtml

Posted in News From China- Whats hot, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Breaking the Law,Breaking the Law!! China, Libya and Guns

Posted by w_thames_the_d on September 13, 2011


China gets dubbed the financier of zealots and outcasts maybe they deserve it an maybe not, but here is a little bit on China’s arms talks with Libya…
from here:
“China denies that any contracts were signed at the July meeting in Beijing and says no weapons were exported to Libya as a result of the meeting. It also says it was unaware at the time that the meeting had taken place…
If Chinese companies did export weapons, it would be a violation of United Nations sanctions put in place earlier this year…

Analyst Richard Fisher at the Washington-based International Assessment and Strategy Center says he was surprised that Beijing admitted the meeting took place and that Chinese defense companies had even considered getting involved in the Libyan civil war. “We rarely, if ever, get even a partial admission of guilt from a Chinese government spokesman. Their first rule is to deny everything and the government spokesman again, after about 24 hours of delay, initially denying, coming out and admitting that there was at least contact with Libyan government officials,” he said.”

Read more here
http://www.voanews.com/english/news/asia/China-Arms-Meeting-With-Gadhafi-Officials-Raises-Questions-129693553.html

Posted in News From China- Whats hot | Leave a Comment »

 
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