Chinese Fashion or Merely a Crazy Old Tart? WTF?

Check out this old lady playing ping pong. I dont mean to belittle her, but of course I shall… first the good, she was playing ping pong and quite spry for such an old lady. She commandeered her area like a trooper, she asked no quarter and gave none. But what the f**K is up with her duds? Lets see, it looks to me as if she is wearing leg warmers, and a chef’s hat, she accompanies that with some bizarre color choices that complete her odd crazy old fashion-less ensemble….When I saw her I literally almost dropped a load right there. I was like wtf is that, it caught my attention like an ambulance going by or something so I investigated. Like I said the old lady was good, very androgynous and surly, but spry and strong. The funny thing is that she looked to be 80 or so, but in China its hard to tell. You have to measure Chinese in “Dog Years”, but in reverse. What this means is that with anyone over 50 its hard to tell their true age. Those people lived through the cultural revolution at least and maybe the great leap forward, thus they lived through hell. As such, what appears to be an 80 year old Chinese person may in reality be a 43 year old- thus the analogy to dog years….So, if you come to China, and you should and you see someone who looks to be 60, you must knock off about 10-15 years due to the aging effect of their life experiences.

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Cheesy in China- Police 911

To me this kind of decal is cheesy anywhere, but especially so here. The car has that edgy “911-police specia”l decal… oh so trendy and international. The funny thing is that the car is probably some locally made pos that tops out at about 25 mph,,, but I guess we should live and let live… Oh yeah, China pirated our 911 emergency calling as well, but they inverted it. To call for emergency help in China, dial 119…

China is Really Grim- But How Do I Eat That?

This is a menu from a Japanese restaurant here. I know the owner, or she is an acquaintance and her English is passable so why in the hell does she have a food dish called “China is grim”? A bit odd for the name of a dish eh?

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Great Poster in China

Actually its not a poster but should be. To me it is like one of those cheeseball posters in a high school guidance counselors office, or maybe at the dialysis clinic or what you would see while waiting in line for an unemployment check. You know the poster, one of those things that has an eagle and says “To Soar is to Take a Risk…” or some such bs. (actually I love those posters, but to admit it does not go with this rant). But anyway, you know, one of those bs posters that is supposed to make you forget you have no money or that your body is giving up on you, but hey you’ve still got your dreams right? So I guess if they made a poster of this they would say something like “Careful Planning Leads to RESULTS!- Dont Forget to Plan” If I were making a caption for the poster it would read, “Hey Dumbass get the F**k off the street, you’re disrupting traffic”

It’s Either a Huge Chinaman or a Tiny Car…

I think this is a little taxi, but dont recall. Maybe its a delivery vehicle, but it doesnt matter, the guy inside is delivering nothing more than sweet dreams to his psyche.

My Chinese Odyssee

Actually its just another photo of my ride to work. This guy to my right looks like he is ready to kick a little ass doesnt he?

Photo from My Rickshaw Ride in China

This is a shot from my way to work…

Hey Look, Lets Get Some Chiness Food….Funny sign in China

Right or Wrong- Africa and China

The Economist reprted that the Chinese word for Africa is ” THE characters for ‘Africa’ in the Mandarin language mean ‘wrong continent'” Hmmmm I wonder what to make of this…Oh and by the way, America is Mei guo (美国) . But interestingly enough the word mei or 没- means no and guo means country. So, if you just listened and ignored tones, mei guo would sound like mei guo or – no country…

Hey Buddy Want an Iphone?- Or is it an Iphrone….

I just went to get a bite to eat and as it is China, you cannot get a bad meal here. So I was walking near a place in Beijing where there are a ton of military personnel and such. The feeling is odd, being raised with the fear of the Red Army- USSR, and their mean buddy- the PRC, its odd to move freely among them, at least for me. Anyway, as I was ambling along a guy calls me over, my Chinese sucks, but it was obvious he had devious intentions, he was Chinese so I didnt figure he was selling drugs, so I raised my eyebrows as if to say ‘wtf’? The guy says “Iphone, or iphrone” and looks down at his tattered pocket. But first let me give you a heads up on the kind of guy i was talking to. He was tall, as many in the northeast and Beijing are (relatively speaking). Had a chubby face but was lean. The pants he was wearing cost less than the latte you drank last night and the t-shirt even less. His eyes moved down and mine followed his. In his dank pocket was , sure enough, and Iphone or Iphrone. I have been here a bit and almost got caught by this once before. I never knew that they actually have Iphone knockoffs that are almost the same, the screen is a bit sketchy but other than that they are good copies. The problem is that they have something like 4gig of hard drive space and the quality sucks. So anyway, the guy wants to deal, he wants to peddle the phone to me. Usually they say something like they found it and just need some cash for meds for their sick child, or they need bus fare, whatever. I asked how much, the guy says 2000rmb or about 300U$, not a bad price for a real phone, but the knockoffs you can get all day long at the silk market for less than U$50. I laughed and asked if it were real. He says yahh. I say why so cheap, he looks all sad and says his kid is sick, I pointed at a cop near by and said, if your kid is sick maybe that man can help, do you want me to assist you? The guy looks at me as if Id farted, i then smiled, and told him not to be a dick, the thing is a fake ‘pos’ and what goes round comes around. (actually I really cant say this in Chinese but it was more like telling him not to be an a—hole0 he nodded, moved off, I doubt if he’ll change. But then again I wont either…