Understanding China, One Blog at a Time

An American in China

Archive for October 27th, 2010

Crazy Aberrant Chinese Sexual Habits You Will Never Believe!!!

Posted by w_thames_the_d on October 27, 2010


In the words of Sheldon- “BAZINGA”

This post has nothing to do with the sexual exploits of your typical Chinaman, that was all a red herring or a ruse. Confused, well read on…

For the short version, read this:
I only made this title as I want to test my hypothesis that people from the middle east really like and click on the posts whose titles are prurient in nature or hint at some form of sex acts and/or sexual deviance.(I will look at page visits and where those visitors are from to ascertain this)

Long version…
I told my nephew that half of the people who go to this site are from the US and half from the rest of the world. I have a tool to pull up a map and see where geographically the page hits come from,, to me it was cool. My nephew asked what the regional differences were in terms of their interests in what I’d posted. In other words, what types of posts do people in the US or Canada like, as compared to Germany. When he asked, I was like…. uh,, umm… I never had considered it, I only liked to look at the pretty map with all the dots on it and think of some guy in Bulgaria reading my blog. but then I began to ponder his question….
So…
I noticed some trends:
-Germans like academic posts
-UK, USA- like snarky bitchy posts
-Canada split between bitchy and feels good posts
-northern Europe- China’s effect on the environment
-Africa nothing specific
Then I was noticing that those people from the middle east seemed to enjoy the ‘pervert posts’, I mean really really really enjoy them. For instance, I once posted about a lady who was doing the ‘wild thing’ with her dog and ended up at the hospital, ((digression alert-the reason for the post was that the Chinese author was actually sympathetic towards the woman , saying the Chinese culture drove her to do it (digression within a digression alert–ummm yeah, its the culture alright, come on 90% of all adult pleasure toys are made in China, cant she procure one of them, and if not, doesnt she have neighbors?)). So those posts about sexy Japanese jeans, or the lady doing “sparks the pooch” get a ton of hits from countries where the men wear flip-flops and flowing headdresses and traipse over land covered with sand and just beneath it oil…
So…. being somewhat curious, I set about to see if my hypothesis is true, ie. those men who traipse around in flip flops, are kind of perverted and drawn to perverted posts.

VOILA so I made this post.
Ok, hope your not confused, but I am busy today so stay with me.
So… this is my experiment, call it my gift to sociology.
my null hypothesis
N-o: the page hits on this post will be normally distributed in terms of geography (ie. not one specific region will be drawn to this post)

hypothesis n-1: the incidence of visitors to this specific post is not normally distributed and those guys who wear the scarves and beat and jail people for kissing in public are actually really really really into posts that seem sexually aberrant in nature…(ie. some middle easterners are perverts)
whew… what a long rant….
oh yeah, from time to time if I dont get bored, I will tell you if more people from the kingdom of Saud, Oman, Qatar, Dubai, visit this post than the rest of the world…

and btw you pervs, dont hit the “back” button on your browser, its too late..hahahahaah- gotcha.

Posted in Cultural oddities | 2 Comments »

Yummy Water in Beijing China

Posted by w_thames_the_d on October 27, 2010


Yup thats pollution and yup people fish in that water. This is a bridge by Dawanglu SOHO and I have seen guys frequently fishing in this area. In the summer the water is quite low and covered with a green scum, but as you can tell, at the time of this photo most of the pollution is man made.

Posted in Photos | 1 Comment »

Chinese Street Vendors

Posted by w_thames_the_d on October 27, 2010


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Shoeshine A- La Chongqing

Posted by w_thames_the_d on October 27, 2010


Still shining shoes at midnight..

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Working in China, a Typical Day- Part 1

Posted by w_thames_the_d on October 27, 2010


I will now try to present to you what it is like to work in China- imho…(but be advised, I do not know how many of these I will post, after all, I still owe you some hospital postings)
-get up, eat, rush outside
-try to get a cab, all of the legal ones are taken so get in a rickshaw, as a last resort walk
-queue with all the other millions of lemmings and trundle down the street to the subway
-queue again, to pass baggage inspection at the subway
-get pissed as they will push you and try to cut in front of you
-get pissed when some fool does not realize that the big ugly yellow bag he is carrying must be scanned just as my briefcase- wait for him to bash into you so he can scan that damned huge object
-go down the stairs, but queue to do so
-wait for the subway
-watch as the chinese assume some of the lowest points of humanity as they push, shove, curse, perform vodoo upon one another to enter an already overcrowded subway car- wait for empty car…
-watch as the chinese assume some of the lowest points of humanity as they push, shove, curse, perform vodoo upon one another to enter an already overcrowded subway car- wait for emply car…
-say fk it and then push, shove, curse, perform vodoo upon them to enter an already overcrowded subway car
-put up with what is akin to a rugby scrum as the doors open and close at each destination
-waltz out of the subway cars as if you are now free
-queue to go up the stairs
-at the top of the stairs push and shove your way through the Chinese who inevitably have decided to perch there to converse
-leave subway
-queue at Starbucks for a chocolate muffin
-watch chinese sprint to the stairs and elevators, they bump into one another, slip , fall and look like the keystone cops for the most part
-que at elevator as the chinese assume some of the lowest points of humanity as they push, shove, curse, perform vodoo upon one another to enter an already overcrowded elevator- you wait for an empty car
-continue to que at elevator as the chinese assume some of the lowest points of humanity as they push, shove, curse, perform vodoo upon one another to enter an already overcrowded elevator- you wait for an empty car
– say fk it and push, shove, curse, perform vodoo upon them to enter an already overcrowded elevator
-go to bathroom and wash hands (highly recommended), as you have seen the orifices the chinese have cleansed with their raptor like fingers on the subway ride over
-saunter to work
Damn, my work day has not yet started…..no wonder they all want to leave this rock…

Posted in Let me educate you..., Working and Living in China | 1 Comment »

In China, in Business and in Life, Always Tell Them What They Did Sucks- Trust Me

Posted by w_thames_the_d on October 27, 2010


“No matter what someone gives you in business in China, complain about it”
I was told this by many Chinese, but possessing a heart, thought it was dumb, but its actually a prudent course of action in China. The reason i say this is that I recently looked at a document, previously I had congratulated the company on their work, so what do they reward me with… a turd… a document that is useless. Thus, I should have been critical, as if you praise them, they seem to think that they have won the battle and give up. In the west the opposite is true, you praise and then they are used to it, they try harder but not here. So next time charlie chinaman gives you anything, do yourself a favor and complain, in the long term it is to your benefit.

Posted in Cultural oddities, Let me educate you... | Leave a Comment »

More on the Meeting…

Posted by w_thames_the_d on October 27, 2010


Oh yeah, this great and costly Chinese consulting company is now offering their solutions to all of certain companies problems. One of their solutions : “Lowering the cost is a key to success”-ummmm well,, uh how earth shattering what a great idea.

WTF is going on in this country…is this all the ‘experts’ can come up with?

Posted in Cultural oddities | 1 Comment »

Bored to Tears- Meetings in China

Posted by w_thames_the_d on October 27, 2010


I am in a meeting and oh so bored. I hate meetings usually, unless they are good, have a point and the speakers are bright. This meeting is pretty typical of China. Some older guy is droning on about nothing, but won’t stop talking. Some young guns have slapped up a ppt whose English is horrible and thus renders it useless. The ‘young turks’ whiz around the room and quip chic business jargon but at inappropriate times. The whole experience makes me want to cry, or to laugh, or maybe just to blog.
Oh yeah, here they have the requisite number of “chinese experts”, uhhh I have studied here at one of China’s best and when I hear that term now, I chuckle- what an oxymoron. (oh yeah, I am not some young turk myself, I am actually doing advanced studies here and no longer that young). But, yeah, ‘expert’, I look at the guys, all over 60. In the west I see a guy that old, he gets props from me, he’s done his time, but here. Think about it, if he’s 60 then he was born in 1950 and if so, then he went to school during the cultural revolution, but oh yeah, all schools were closed from 1965 to 1978, so what in the hell did this expert do from the ages of 15 to 28- plant poppy seeds? And if he was a late bloomer, then just what in the heck did this old guy learn that is not already known to those of us in the west who were experimenting with drugs, sex and rock and roll at the same time…. damn I need a coffee…

Posted in Cultural oddities, Let me educate you... | Leave a Comment »

Psst, Hey- Did You Hear?

Posted by w_thames_the_d on October 27, 2010


A friend asked me, “Why is it that when Chinese go to the west to study or meet foreign businessmen they say, ‘darn those guys are sharp’. But when westerners come here to China to do likewise, they are like ‘damn, how old is this civilization- a few thousand years. What in the heck have they been doing all that time, they really dont know squat.”

Posted in Ranting in general | 1 Comment »

Over 1.3 Billion Chinamen, One Mind

Posted by w_thames_the_d on October 27, 2010


Chinese are collectivistic, even though they try to be unique, they cant make the nut. For instance when I went home I had to buy some gifts. When I told the sales clerks that I was buying for a Chinese, irrespective of the product, they said, “Oh for a chinaman, buy this. They all come here and this is what they purchase.” My sister is the one who noticed this. We discussed this phenomenon, its like …. “you mean to tell me that out of over 1,300,000,000 people, they basically all think and act the same”. Then I returned, got to thinking about it and watched the way they walk talk and dress, and yeah, its true, they really do act like one huge huddling mass. They are not individualistic at all.

Posted in China Fact, Cultural oddities | Leave a Comment »