Understanding China, One Blog at a Time

An American in China

Other Sports Techniques One Can Use in China

Posted by w_thames_the_d on November 2, 2010

Early I blogged ‘Block ’em Out Willy’. Where I spoke about how I used a technique called ‘blocking out’, that can be used in the Chinese subways. After much thought, I have listed some other sports and techniques that one can use on a daily basis in China to make their life easier.

List of sports and skill used
long jump/steeple chase- used to hop over the numerous wads of fresh and calcified phlegm that litter Chinese streets
basketball- use of elbows, blocking out- entering exiting any form of mass transportation
football-head down plow forward- used to enter any building or form of transport
football-run interference- use your body to shield the little old lady from pushing ignorant Chinese on any form of transport, also can be used to aid in shielding the young chinese ladies from the clawing groping hands of the typical Chinese subway pervert
baseball- base stealing- used to wait till the last moment to swipe the seat from that obnoxious one child policy kid person who has cut in line just to snag the seat on any form of public transportation
hockey- body check, used to keep that A$$hole from shoving his money in the face of the attendant as you pay at the local 7-11
king of the hill- general pushing and shoving- generally used in any form of public transportation in China
football- audible- like changing the play at the line of scrimmage. This is used when you have to yell at your friends and tell them that they should not ext the subway yet, there are too many people but to wait for another stop….

One Response to “Other Sports Techniques One Can Use in China”

  1. SherCM said

    This is awesome!!!

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