Tits, Zits and Chinese Doctors- Or My Changing Body in China
Posted by w_thames_the_d on December 12, 2010
| Not to be creepy, but I think my body is undergoing some abnormal metamorphosis in China, maybe its all some sick commie plot. I am a man, but seem to be morphing into much less of my ideal of what a man ‘should’ be. I dont know if its my budding ‘man-tits’, or the newly sprouting zits on my face, but I dont feel like myself anymore. Long beyond the age of a person accustomed to getting zits, I checked and today I have three, to me its distressing. apart from this, my pendulous breasts announce my presence through the door before my nose, and when i stumble down the stairs, to all outward appearances, I could have played one otf the leading roles in Bay Watch. I fear that when wrapped in swaddling clothes, my body may now appear more feminine than masculine, a trend i’d like to reverse. I’ve canceled my appointment with a local chinese witch-‘doctor’, a certain man named ‘zircon’, whose only claim to fame is a self published book in which he describes how to heal oneself by righting the four battling forces of health: blood, fire, capitalism and sin. I figure to forgo the one dollar ransom this man charges, to tell me that the flowering acne comes from my greed and wanderlust and three incantations from the Mao book should heal me up just fine. I’ve not called his offices yet, to confirm my cancellation, but hope he harbors no ill will. being born before 1980 he has siblings, half of whom are communist party members, the other half gangsters, I guess in the end they work for the same company. Instead of seeing this wonderful man , I have self diagnosed, today I will be cutting back on my intake of lead, cadmium and melamine, I mean I’ll be steering clear of fruits veggies and milk. In the end I hope to reclaim my body from the pubescent teen it has become. If this fails I can always undergo surgery when I return to civilization. |
Understanding China, One Blog at a Time 
chickendinner said
Are you going to become a breatharian???
Actually, you might want to consider eating less soy products – those can actually cause the very problems you describe (especially the non-fermented soy products). Eating cilantro (Chinese parsley) helps pull heavy metals from your body and dark green leafy veggies can provide other protections from the pollutants here (even though they are grown in the same “troubled waters”).
“Living in China” may be an oxymoron now that I think about it. It actually feels more like “slowly dying in China”.
wtdevflnt said
Thanks, have you experienced any problems while here?
chickendinner said
I acquired mercury poisoning 12 years ago in the U.S. when I had a bunch of amalgam filling dental work done at the same time as a bunch of thimerosol (sp?) preserved vaccinations. At the time I was seriously afraid for my life. Although I got rid of the amalgam fillings, I never underwent real chelation therapy to rid my organs of it. Being here in China has reawakened some of my stronger symptoms and I plan to get a lot more serious about chelating that stuff from my system when I get back to the U.S.
As far as the estrogenizing effects of unfermented soy products (and who-knows-what they give to the milk cows) I can’t tell if the other “female” challenges I’m having are due to the mercury in my body, or my age (seems a little young for this stuff yet), or both.
The air pollution is killing me here though. It’s so thick right now it’s horrible. Probably much like it is in Beijing. My lungs scream in searing pain anytime I exert myself and I think I have a low-grade sinus infection that just lingers.
Needless to say, I look forward to being able to begin making permanent improvements in my state of health as soon as I get back to the U.S.