Understanding China, One Blog at a Time

An American in China

Chinese Haircuts, Beijing Opera, Meth and Iggy

Posted by w_thames_the_d on March 27, 2011


Today was haircut day for your gentle and loving but misunderstood author. Finding myself in possession of a humongous nap of unruly hair I shoved my slothenly body to the local barber shop/hair salon. Greeted by the garlic breathed ‘hair specialist’ I asked for the usual. My Chinese being what it is, this necessitated no less than five minutes of furious Mandarin as the lords of the cut tried to figure out just what the fk I was talking about. As no one in the place spoke English, they finally gave up and the chief hair master took over. 

There I sat for the better part of an hour as this guy breathed on me and hacked away at my beautiful locks. In the background the glorious cacophony of your ‘typical Chinese hair salon’ rang in my ears. For those of you have not made it here yet, and you should, a chinese hair salon sounds like the Beijing opera- on meth. And if you’ve never heard the Beijing opera, then let me paint a picture for you. Imagine stuffing half a dozen three year olds with ADHD on your kitchen floor, and then before them you place a myriad of steel pots, pans, egg whips, spoons, forks and maybe a hunk of cement or two. Then imagine that you jack these little tikes up on a healthy does of adrenaline and tell them to make some noise…..ya, it’s not a pretty picture…
.
Aside from the aural assault, I was hit up with the typical ‘do you speak’ chinese to which i usually reply a stolid nyet and then hoist my kindle before my eyes as if the conversation has run its natural course.
I guess today I did learn a few things about China as well as myself. I learned that a hair cut in this place can only be enjoyed after a snifter of brandy and a dose of industrial strength valium or a dilaudid. Aside from this, I guess I shouldn’t bitch, after all, I am contributing to the Chinese economy aren’t I?

Oh yeah, I snapped off a photo and I really can’t complain about the cut, although they did leave it a little long in the front.

me in China…..

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRsHWtKkrSYHxBZnXGd0-W4BcXvpsg0LPqmlnE3DW1wzMoPpRf-zgg

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One Response to “Chinese Haircuts, Beijing Opera, Meth and Iggy”

  1. Megan Z said

    OMG!!! This is the funniest post I have read yet!!

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