Understanding China, One Blog at a Time

An American in China

Archive for April 5th, 2011

Orthodontia in China- “Methmouth”, Oral Hygiene, and Rotten Teeth

Posted by w_thames_the_d on April 5, 2011


There is an American guy I know in China, and his name is Mr. x. Mr X is a 50-something wayfarer who has come to China and found his place. After his parents passed, he feels he has nothing to go home to, so he has gone ‘native’ as it were and is now espousing all things Chinese.
Mr X’s head has the shape, color and texture of a hot dog and when he smiles, one gets a glimpse of his teeth which after years of abuse and neglect look like a typical one year old Beijing apartment – chipped, cracked and gray. Smiling he said that although he’d lost most of his hair, he still had a face full of teeth and yeah they may not be as bright as Oilbama’s, they were still all his and not prosthetics and he vowed to take care of them. He then advised me that he had a plan, he was going to the local sage/witchdoctor/orthodontist for a good abrasive cleaning and fluoride treatment. And with that he shot me his best methmouth smile and waddled off.
After hearing his intelligent words, I too looked at my golden chompers and wondered if I should do the same, but the local Chinese Bonnie to my American Clyde, warned me against it. She said that although we may do such things in America, that one should be careful of attempting any such advanced feats of orthodontia in the center kingdom.
Heeding her warning, I contented myself with a fluoride toothpaste, brush and a lot of elbow grease as I performed my daily ritual of oral hygiene.
A few days later I happened by Mr X who was trundling down the street in that odd ‘fat man’s walk’ that he has. The usually cheerful Mr x pulled back his lips into a grimace/smile and said hello.
“What’s up?” sayeth your author
“nothing.” x mumbles
“you angry?”
“nah, got my teeth done.” tight lipped.
“cool let me see.”
turns from me as if considering it.
“come on x, let me take a look. I’m thinking of getting mine done too.”
so he turned his chubby face my way and shot me his best Hollywood glam smile…
I could attempt to describe what they did to x’s teeth but all attempts would fail in depth, severity and detail. The only things that come to mind are the destructive force of a tornado and its scattered aftermath, or maybe a nuclear devastation, but then again I am prone to extremes.
After about ten minutes I could say nothing. X shook his head and said,”yeah, pretty frim, aren’t they?”
i was like, “I didn’t think your teeth were so jagged before the cleaning.” he nodded in agreement and said that yes this was true and also the abrasive cleaner may have been too strong thus the orangish tint on his bicuspids would not doubt be permanent.
“So what are you going to do now?” i inquired.
“They tell me they can file em down and cap all these.” he pointed at his uppers, “For about 15,000rmb”
“are you going to do it?”
opening his mouth he ran a stubby finger across his tooth-line. “if you had teeth like this, wouldn’t you?”

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More Beijing Traffic

Posted by w_thames_the_d on April 5, 2011


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Beijing Traffic- AKA Parking Lot

Posted by w_thames_the_d on April 5, 2011


Beijing has some of the worst traffic in the world. Here is a shot of the Dawanglu intersection around 6 or so. The place becomes a parking lot and the typical chinese gets hot under the collar and all rules of the road are forgotten.

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Amazing Chinese Photo- People!

Posted by w_thames_the_d on April 5, 2011


I read a funny comment the other day, I think it was on the strandedmariner’s site.The guy had posted a shot with no people in it. At first I though nothing of it and then one of the commentors pointed out that ‘in China you have to point the camera straight up’ to not get people in it. So when I saw this photo I thought I’d share it to prove him right.

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Mindless Things Chinese Do- China Photo

Posted by w_thames_the_d on April 5, 2011


Here is a shot of some weird Chinese phenomenon whereby the boss gathers the troops outside of their place of employment and gives them a pep talk/dressing down. The crew, seen her bowing before the man , typically have to endure a twenty minute speech by the sage/boss and then presumably will trundle back to their dreary jobs where they will shove food in our faces, forget to smile and offer us one teensy tiny little freaking napkin with our noodles. I really have no idea why they go through with the charade as the morale of your typical Beijing restaurant worker is lower than the morals of the party. I guess it’s just the bosses way of letting them remember who is in charge.

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Funny Chinese Sign- Do They Really Do That in China

Posted by w_thames_the_d on April 5, 2011


From this site

Fuck the duck until exploded

(should be “spicy stir fired duck”. 干 has multiple ways to pronounce in Chinese. Sometimes it means “dry” and other times “do” or “fuck”)


And two classic ones

)

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