Understanding China, One Blog at a Time

An American in China

“Dealing With Animals- I got To Get Outta Here”- Living and Working in China

Posted by w_thames_the_d on July 18, 2011


“Dealing With Animals- I got To Get Outta Here”- was the text message I received from a fellow prisoner in this heaping land of discontent today. My friend, upset with his colleagues who surprisingly are all from China, said that his place of work had become unbearable and he couldn’t wait for his contract to end so he could leave….

Hmmm
Does this sound remotely similar to your experiences here? If not, then consider yourself luck and try working for a Chinese firm. Your rotund author has worked for the son of satan through a JV and a few other projects and now know why the locals will do anything to get out of the middle kingdom.
Its not as if all Chinese are bad, those one’s on the subway toting all the big bags are some nice people and the one’s they send their cash home to, the ones hunched down in the fields are pretty ace as well. As for the rest, …. hmmm.
Put it like this. China is like hell… does that it explain it? Ok then how about this. Think of the most dysfunctional group of humans and then double their stupidity and halve their morals and then take this person you have now formed in your brains and stuff him on top of the Eiffel tower, for he now represents the good of most of the Chinese workforce (who work for Chinese companies). Then imagine the evil twin of this beast who was not bred nor grew up with as much love and compassion and stick him below your big toe, that is your typical Chinese company ( (not international). For the good Chinese seem to make it to the foreign companies while the rest rot in the misery that their kin mete upon them.)
This American guy who said he was leaving is a great guy and passive , thus if he is complaining, things must be rough. Your rotund author had some experience with the company in question and no it was not for that male swim-wear gig I did where the ‘banana hammock’ was the only thread of clothing adorning my statuesque ‘man-build’, all two hundred kilos compacted into an easy-to-carry five foot frame.
No it was not that gig but one where brains mattered. Thus, the Chinese being Chinese assumed that stupid barbarians were less than equipped for the task. Little did they know that while sharing the same opinion we actually had proof of their stupidity but that is another story.
So, my friend, the passive guy said that the back-biting and in-fighting of the company is making him sick and he needs a new gig. The sad thing is that China will do that to you. This guy was all p and v (piss and vinegar) to help the company, has that killer US work ethic. But then little by little, china attacks one like Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy and turns us into this.

from mapleleafweb.com

The problem is that many Chinese managers were raised under the cultural revolution and didnt learn much more than recitations from an amber book and the best ways to draw blood from the educated. Blessed with these tools, your modern barbarian/chinese boss, is no more equipped to deal with humanity than any member of those who currently rule this dump. The unfortunate thing is that they’ve dined from enough bunghole and slurped enough ‘brown eye’ to have good enough guanxi to have protected businesses in China which leaves us with few options. Those of us who’ve been protected from the wrath of ghenghis han find that aside from minor hiccups, we fare much better than our poor friends.
I find myself bored now and will play with my Kindle and watch the locals bump into elevator doors and try to figure out the ever elusive turnstiles at the subway. Is it must me or do the dumbasses never know where to put those plastic one passage cards???

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