Understanding China, One Blog at a Time

An American in China

Notice to China, Chew With Your Mouth Closed

Posted by w_thames_the_d on August 22, 2011

China has opened herself up which means that aside from us now being able to buy shitty knockoffs, we get to see more Chinese people in action, being Chinese. One of the more obvious difference between them and humanity is in terms of etiquette and couth.

For instance, the other day I was getting my daily intake of heavy metals and carcinogens -eating, I was bored. Being bored I took a look around me and started to notice how the locals are different from us. Aside from the raucous din of slurping noodles, tea and whatever else they stuff into their maws, I noticed that the locals enjoy their food a lot. As a matter of fact they enjoy it so much that they like to show it off to those of us who are seated next to them. They do this while talking, while not talking and while just being themselves.
Of course I am addressing the fact that eating with Chinese characteristics means noshing on your food while exposing as much of it as possible to the other patrons of the establishment. I guess while their parents were taught that Mao was better than God, they didn’t have time to focus on things like hygiene and etiquette.
As such they feel it is incumbent upon them to grind their vittles into a pulp, all the while swishing it around with their tongue and clickity clack mismatched teeth and smile. By my reckoning of the 23 patrons at the last restaurant I visited, 21 made no attempt to chew with their mouths closed, while two made at least an effort.

For those of you with a weak stomach, this may not be the place to get your grub on….
(photo refinery29.com)

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