Understanding China, One Blog at a Time

An American in China

Archive for September 3rd, 2011

LA Dodgers to Go Red- China Buying the Dodgers?

Posted by w_thames_the_d on September 3, 2011


China is sitting on a pile of cash and the chicoms do not know what to do with it so they are looking for investments. The Dodgers are not sitting on cash so the chicoms want to buy into them or fund them.

I guess the chicoms should feel at home, after all, LA is a pretty smoggy place with tons of Asians. The sad thing is that LA’s asians are cool and seem to have a moral compass, relatively speaking.

My question is how badly the Dodgers will suck when they are forced to take chinese players and sell knockoff shit from Guangzhou.
story here

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Chinese Delivery Vehicle

Posted by w_thames_the_d on September 3, 2011


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Photo of Patient Chinese

Posted by w_thames_the_d on September 3, 2011


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Limp Noodles and Sexual Frustration in China

Posted by w_thames_the_d on September 3, 2011


The other day the chinadaily reported that , not surprisingly, Chinese sex lives suck. I guess one can put ‘love’ into the category of things the Chinese cannot make .
The survey said that over 67% of the people said their sex lives were horrible or merely sucky. While not surprised with the results I began to ponder the reason for this. At first I considered that based upon the skull shape and form of the typical China person and their androgynous looks, who could get aroused.? Then I considered hyenas and wilderbeasts who do get wood when mating season stirs in their loins and thus no matter awful one creature may look to me, it’s got is mate in the animal kingdom. In addition, it’s not as if all Chinese are atrocious, there are some hot minority women whose bodies do look like they belong to adults.
Ruling out looks as its an infirmity visited upon both sexes I then thought that ‘the typical chinaman works so hard’, and excuse they use when one catches them napping at work or on the subway or on their bike. But after living here and measuring how much time they dedicate to that internet internet farm game, QQ and to bitching I quickly ruled that out.
Then I thought of cigs and how much the guys smoke, but doubt it’s the cause.
In the end the only thing i can come up with is that love is a process of passion and sharing, two things the locals are deprived of. As selfish as they are, providing pleasure to another is probably a foreign concept. sure if you toss them a twenty they’ll hammer on your crank like a mason, but to do it out of love, I doubt it. As for passion, absent shots of them tearing over the great chairman , its an emotion not often visited upon the people here.
At the end of the day I can say I have no idea why they suck in the sack, but guess that this could be the reason they all go for that nice foreign face, after all, who doesn’t want someone who can bring on the feels good?

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Beautiful Rant on China

Posted by w_thames_the_d on September 3, 2011


This is part of a rant from Gowron aka the king. He appears snarky but it is due to the fact he’s aware and being aware just as in the book can sometimes cause sadness. In the following rant he clarifies the history or true meaning of be a man’ which I hear Chinese say to one another quite often. Thus, if you’d like to learn about China you need heed words of people such as his as they will tel you about the realities of living here. While some may find discomfort in his or mylaowai’s directness, you can ‘be a man’ and get past it in order to learn….
rant from the king
“the Chinese or Cantonese have a phrase that infuriates me “Jo Yun” (be a person, be a man, be human), sure…. but is it too much to ask the Chinese to BE PEOPLE first? They claim a monopoly on being civilized. But civilzed people intentionally don’t start fights in streets, don’t butt around like stampeeding wilderbeasts, don’t defecate where they stand, and don’t litter their own habitat like zoo beasts. So what they can write some squiggly scribbles, complex squiggly scribbles, into some poetry, or make elaborate bombastic costumes? When each one of the classical thespianisms are dedidcated to WAR? (Bejing Opera).

So you want us to Jo Yun, can we ask that you first Be a Ren? Anyways the Chinese are incapable of being self conscious, they have no prequiste self awareness. Especially of how gross they can be… And no tapping your fingers as thanks for tea or being poured something, doesn’t make you civilized.

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