Understanding China, One Blog at a Time

An American in China

Buck Teeth, Collectivism and Ugly– Chinese Subways

Posted by w_thames_the_d on October 12, 2011


Today my trip through purgatory-the subway, presented me with an interesting experience. I noticed that yes, Chinese travel in packs, Hofsteeds would call them collectivistic a thing they deny. Yes, being in China is like seeing 1 300 000 000 people with same hair, eyes and skin all wearing a shirt proclaiming ‘I am unique’ or ‘I am different’. The stark reality, however is that they are as interchangeable as one of those little plastic bulbs in a light bright kit. None is different from the rest, they are cut from the same cloth.

Back to the story. So I am watching a gaggle of peasants with those huge bags they all carry and of course they are going to see Tianenman. Most of them probably dont even know about the little killing spree there a bit ago, but that is beside the point. So all of these people gaggle together and occupy a little space and stair wide eyed at the mechanical marvel that is a subway. Im thinking, ‘poor bastards its 2011 and to them electricity is something only found in big cities.”

In any event the phrenologist in me took over as I began to study their monstrous skulls. What struck me, however was not the magnitude of their preorbital lobes nor the gaping depths of their nostrils, but their teeth. Orthodontia in their little hunk of the world must surely be the future. To a man, they possessed the most ginormous shelf of diseased chompers I have seen, each a masterpiece in color , tint and shade. It actually brought out images o Thanksgiving to your humble author, all of the golds, tans, and oranges playing one off the other.

Before you consider me rude let me explain that yes my teeth are known to wander around my mouth and appear as if king midas has lain an index finger thereupon so I can feel the pain of this buck toothed meth mouth crew. I guess it does not help to only breed within their little confines of the planet thus passing along this assuredly recessive gene (to the rest of us), but looking on the bright side, their place probably only has 140 dudes for each 100 girls, a factoid which will soon lower the numbers of their clan considerably.

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