Understanding China, One Blog at a Time

An American in China


Posted by w_thames_the_d on November 3, 2011

I am laughing my ass off! Did you just see the news of the G20 with all the world leaders? Obama was pimping like he was ready to hit a spliff then shoot some hoops, but the really funny scene was the Chinese leader hu Jin tao.

in true Chinese fashion, he stood out like a turd in a punch bowl. While all the other leaders seemed to enjoy themselves, HJT looked like a little boy who had just shit his pants before a class photo.

He waited till all the others moved to do so himself and completely looked out of his element. In all honesty I kinda felt sorry for the guy….

2 Responses to “HAHAHAAH Hu Jin Tao”

  1. Brewskie said

    Remember the video of Dubya in his waning days, when, during an exchange of hand shakes at a G8 summit, all of the leaders in attendance bypassed daddy’s squirt?

    I recall the G20 summit Barrack was snubbed at: he wanted to discuss reducing carbon emissions with China, Brazil, and other developing nations, but none of them reciprocated Barrack’s enthusiasm; so instead, they didn’t bother inviting Barrack to their table, and China sent a representative to talk with him (which miffed the prez). Undeterred, Barrack had to go to their table and ASK for permission to sit with them. He then fell flat on his face as he tried bullying Hu Jinato.

    How’s that for a lack of respect for the US president?

  2. gowron said

    I love how that faggot rubs shit in his hair. Anyways I’m back from a short interlude in the big stinky country. You know which one. I of course couldn’t use your forum. as somehow its “timed out”.

    So if you like I can keep on watching this forum via email and respond.

    Anyways over at mylaowai’s place. I seem to have gotten a FenFen boy mad, it’s funny the responses, It’s under thread, about the girl hit by a car. It’s funny I love getting these fuckers mad at me.

    Anyways, i’m in Hong Kong for the elections on Lamma, I can’t wait to vote out that stupid bitch of the DAB party, she’s one of those chinese manly women. You know the type, round head glasses, handsome jaw. It just so happens, to be on a Sunday, these fucking mainlanders come here on a Sunday. Goddamit! I had enough of their stinky feet on the train!!!!!!

    I have also decided on a funny project. I’m going to make a line of PEDO or perhaps PANEDO Bear, a big cuddly fat fat, bear as a big cuddly rapist Chinese chop. You know the type, big fat pillowly chest hugging innocent children. And I’m going to base him character Pedo bear (a Internet meme), based on the actual pedophiliac antics of actual bullshit that happens to kids here, would they be “medical waste”, breathing in a bag, sold into prostitution, running around naked taking shits in the streets, and or leaping to freedom as a free bird, out the window and to the carpark below to escape Peando Bear. And get this, you know how knock offs here are misspelled. That’ the pun I’m going for.

    Anyways looks like the QC job is going on up in Stinkyhai (pussy, or shoe, or Shanghai, a foul mouthed city full of foul mouthed old hags). So likely I’m just going to make my money, and get the fuck out. I’m headed to a nice cheap acerage out of Calgary, where everything is CLEAN…

    But let me tell you of my adventures in the big stinky country. I was in Get this…… Wenzhou, of all places! my impressions? The air tastes like dirty chalk, (but it’s actually from burning garbage!. Whenzhou like most Chinese cities are peasant agri-urban-bronze aged “civilized” heartfilled places (as that Fen Fen points out), as such, they burn the trash. You smell this rubbery smell (burning underware? No wait, Chinese children don’t wear underware my mistake).

    I’m also have the inspiration of making a video game, about Taxies in china, especially rural, Chinese cities. where they’re REALLY pressed for Cash. For instance, you’re an illerate monkey, mutant faggo boy. You are given a cab, if you let repairs drag on, you can REALLY get REALLY fucked up, (injured, but the costs are expensive substandard), you need to make a quota and thus drive like a dick head, On sidewalks through reds, and if you hit someone, you have a conscience meter if you stay behind, you pay hospital, might get sued, (you can bribe of course). Your conscience meter goes down you start hallcinating demons and ghosts and shit, distracting you and all other mind fucks. (you can also do drugs in this game, because the surrounding landscape of the game won’t be flashy cities that people view Chiense cities as, but depressive, very subhumanly… the real China). You also have a health meter, a stress meter (again if you’re confronted by your conscience through ghosts, such as running over a bunch of kids, beating the fuck out of someone for 1 wonjou of cab fair (needed), illeffects of black market drugs (both medicinal and recreational), and of course the ever so prevailent scent of Jenkem. (shit), rotten scents of fat bosses, smelly KTV chicks after a night of “work”, bleeding factory workers, kids taking a dump piss or ADULTS worse in your ratty cab).

    The point of the game you can either raise enough money to fuck off to Hong Kong, which the final level will have you try to either SWIM, (if your ill health is strong enough, remember everyone will be smoking even the babies in this game), You fuck off to a US embassy, you are brave enough to make the trek via Underground railroad. (if have a CLEAN conscience, or do enough things to remain “HUMAN”, and take the chance to read religious material (but beware, those who leave them behind could be Reds). Or you bribe enough to form your own company, eventually you kill yourself, when the economy pops, and those you bribed you read about them in the paper (the game over cut screen, or winning cut screen, if you play this ending), You need LOTS of RMB, must have moved alot of drugs, done ALOT of unscruplous things for Red factory bosses. (who again you inherit their business connections, BEFORE the town melts down into anarchy (if you were a particulary BAD boss like say you ran over ALOT of people, or engaged in alot of EVIL things, the people will lynch you in terrible ways), if you were a nice boss, (You could be “morned” as an alright guy by a very very small circle (remember how paranoid Chiense people really are in reality).

    If you retain your soul, and have poor health, you could do lots of ways to escape, China. Some will get you killed, if you for instance sneak out on an airplane you freeze to death, if you, join the PLA become the Primier’s driver, you get killed in the ensuing violence. Or you can raise the necessary money necessary to invest in Canada-America, But this is the hardest way of course. But at least you try to be human…. also there will be a psychology stress bar. If you don’t see it you don’t hear it, is best, but for instance you drive a dying person to the hospital, hit rough traffic, ie a sick kid, and the kid dies in your car of some unholy illness. You can bet your ass, that the mother will kill herself, you read about it, you health bar, goes down, your stress bar goes down, and you have from time to time visions in the mirror of dead passengers. AGain what do you do? Drive on the Sidewalk, drive like a maniac.

    To make matters worse, your character is very alcholic prone, and smoke addicted. (well duh,,, they’re Chinese vices). and drug addicted. Driving under the influence, seems to make the scerenery look less shitty, your mood goes up, you get better tips when you’re in a better mood, life is good when you’re drugged, up, but you pay alot, plus you might get caught by the reds, if you don’t have the bribes necessary you’re going away for a long time, when you’re released, you have to cab again…..

    Don’t forget oil prices, sinopec loves to waste resources, Alot of effects will have on the supply of oil and fuel which is NECESSARY to your career of Getting ABC. (anywhere but China), and you bet your ass, lot of other peasants, are like that too! They will try to murder you for gas they need to keep going.

    To make matters even worse! The you live is gripped by a plague, or the beginnings of one. The sooner you get yourself, your family, passangers, and the sooner you control insects in your house. the sooner it goe…. it won’t go away.

    Don’t forget nutjob passangers. Pedestrians… Some might get mad not pay if you take the to the “RIGHT” place, because they’re having some scatter brained phone conversation with a Shoe with their wife they just killed! or something. Or worse yet, ARE YOU the killer lol, and all of this game is truly just a pre execution hallcination? (If you let your sanity meter go down). or are you…… a GHOST? (if you let your depression meter go down, and you decide to off yourself with poison).

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