Understanding China, One Blog at a Time

An American in China

Archive for November 7th, 2011

Insoles, Chinese Gifts, Mulch and Drunken White Trash- Another China Rant

Posted by w_thames_the_d on November 7, 2011

I received a ‘gift’ of a pair of insoles. Not just any insoles, mind you, but Chinese insoles.

And before I rant, let me be the first to say that , “yeah for the past couple of months I have had the subtlety of a drunken cracker with the shards of a Pabst Blue Ribbon bottle clenched in his sweaty paw as he squares up against any and all comers, as the locals, who consider an 8-ball of meth and a six-pack of mixed martial arts videos to be wholesome family entertainment, look on in amusement. Yes I am talking about places like Letts or muscatine, or centerdale, IA , (all of which I know). As I stand brandishing the moist entrails of the corpse like bottle, the townies cheer or jeer as Bret Lingon, the local town clown or sheriff waddles up to me warily, while wiping the remnants of a powdered sugar doughnut from his upper lip. Bret, as all will recall, was small and weak and never amounted to much in school, but now believes that by hiding behind a gun and badge , he is somehow more of a man than he truly feels. the local women who share less than a bakers dozen teeth between them clench mongrel-faced babes to their pap as they too clamor for more action and less talk as I swing the bottle maddeningly. ….. As unsightly as this visual is, it is actually similar to a subway stop here’ holy s….. i have digressed, but where was I?

Oh yeah, I was recognizing the fact that as of late my rants have been nothing less than sawed off pokes in the eye of the lumbering monstrosity we call China. But in my defense it is not all my fault. Take for instance, what China does to one. Upon arriving here it is not the assault on one’s sinuses and lungs by the toxic swill they call air that offends you the most, but the ignorance and self -consciousness of these folks.

Tell them that Rome is 2000 years old and the first thing they say is that China is older. As if two things cannot both enjoy the idea they are old. Or tell them about the beautiful ruins of [anywhere but china] and they will tout the monstrosity of a fence that it took them thousands of years to complete. To sum it up, the Chinese make you dislike this place. But I am ranting again,
Back to the insoles.

So a friend of mine gave me some Chinese insoles. She is a sweet woman who of course lost family to the chicoms, ie her great grandmother was killed, but that is par for the course here. But she has a heart and she gave me a gift. The insoles, as they are called, have a purpose I cannot figure out. back in sanityville- ABC anywhere but china, you buy insoles either to relieve odors or to bring comfort, neither of which these chinese implements can do .

Wearing these things is like strapping mulch to one’s feet and sloughing about. They are rigid, prickly and as comfortable as watching that creepy neighbor across the street gawk at the little neighbor girls play hopscotch.

I appreciate the effort of my friend and of course would never tell her the truth- that the things are like swamp-logs stuffed into my shoes. for that is not how I roll, rudeness is not in my nature. Aside from what I write on this blog, your humble author is a kind an sensitive man.

Thus, instead of informing the woman of the truth, I will lumber about like a Beijing cabbie with a bottle of baijo working its way down his cancer riddled goozle pipe as he wanders off for a bowl of noodles….

(oh yeah the photo was given to me by a friend. take a peek and see that some Chinese mother has had the good sense of allowing both her kids to simultaneously defecate and or urinate in public at the same time)…..

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Chinese Etiquette, Nose Picking and Nail Clipping

Posted by w_thames_the_d on November 7, 2011

What is it about subways that makes the people of China want to ram things up their noses? Be it fingers, thumbs, fingers and thumbs, chopsticks and darning needles, when in the comfortable confines of the subway they do the most atrocious of things. Yesterday I saw a guy exploring the deepest recesses of his pock marked nose for about seven subway stops. I was going to get a shot of it, but of course the doddering locals were in the way.
Today, see photo, I saw some local who was doing his best to look ABC, anything but chinese, as he clipped at his roof shingle long nails on the subway. I guess this behavior is due to the fact that they dont have cars in which to preen, primp and prepare, after all, 80% of these people do not have flush toilets ( a fact).
But to me there is something inherintly wrong with lopping off dead hunks of ones body in front of Buddha and the world…..

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Sliced Fingers and Suicides- China’s Business Owners in Trouble

Posted by w_thames_the_d on November 7, 2011

Chinese business people- aka ‘rent seekers’, are undergoing some problems as of late. The issue is that they had to go to loan sharks to fund their late night forays into the house of KTV lust, all the while betting on the cum, pardon the pun. These people were sure that business would pick up just as it had over the past 30 years and unable to comprehend the complexities of business realities they made a few boo boos.
So the loan sharks are demanding money and the Chinese would rather give up ABC, anything but Cash. Thus these business owners are offering up fingers or limbs to the loan sharks, after all, that is just flesh and bone, but part with cash-NEVER!
I would like to say that I feel for these people who are affectionately known as idiots, but I do not. i have seen how they make their money and consider it Karma…..
Story here

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Chinese Boat Strays into Japan- Captain Detained

Posted by w_thames_the_d on November 7, 2011

China is playing with fire in Japan. They may be able to stroke the USA and co-opt big business who maintains that although we have lost 2 million jobs to the Chinese, that China is our buddy. Sure we allow them to steal us blind and use our tech to better their lives, but we probably deserve it. Our leaders possess no courage and big business cares not a thing for the lines of those who cannot draw a paycheck.
The Japanese, however, are warriors. If China pushes them too far, the Japanese will probably attack. I do not know much about Japan, but I do know that they were on the way to owning all of this big rock. The truth is that the Japanese still are upset over losing that war 70 years ago and would love to get a little revenge on these guys at least.
My prediction is that the Chinese will do something dumb one day, and the Japanese will pull some Ninja stuff on them, causing them to melt…..
Story here

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Look Out Below! China’s Impending Property Crash

Posted by w_thames_the_d on November 7, 2011

Read the article below. It describes the coming property bubble and crash in China. The good news is that all those evil chicom fk tards have sent their money and stained seed aka children , to lands of freedom such that they can emigrate/escape and avoid the same treatment as that of Gddfi when it all falls down….

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