Understanding China, One Blog at a Time

An American in China

Idiotic Chinese Announcers and American Football

Posted by w_thames_the_d on January 5, 2012


I love American football, after all, it is the only true game of football. Unlike that other one where guys run around in little shorts complaining about a kick to the shins, NFL players are ‘ballas’ and real men.

The problem is that in China they dont show much football, well, because Chinese one child policy people don’t care. The reason is that their undescended testes have not formed enough testosterone to endow them with the build of anything resembling a man, and the molly coddlng of their ancient grandparents has left them without a spine.

So, I’m watching American football, aka the only real football and some idiotic Chinese (redundant) announcers are trying to figure out the game. Their chuckling and hem hawing as they foul up their explanation of the action and rules. The funny thing is that people in their age range, late 30’s early 40’s grew up at a time in China when schools were just re-opened- yes China closed down all schools from 1966 to 1976. So these guys, aside from getting the worst education possible, had little to no interaction with humans and the outside world, let alone playing sports.

So, the Chinese, in typical Chinese fashion, attempt to discuss things for which they are ill-equipped- others would be technology, love, respect. laws, morals, ethics, innovation etc.

The announcers, however, do their best to memorize what the humans said, and then rebroadcast these thoughts in a true Chinese pirate fashion. The funny thing is that their timing is off, they misquote, they misinform and basically show how little they really know.

Perhaps China should stick to its knitting, do what it does best.
Casitgate her people while proclamiing undying love for some figurehead then hating what they and their country has become.

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