Corruption, Chinese New Year and Lazy Communists

Corruption, Chinese New Year and Lazy Communists

To the rest of the world, January is another day, but to the Chinese it is the start of the New Year. The Chinese historically went by the lunar calendar and thus this time of year is the most special for them.

What the lunar new year means to 5,700,000,000 people is nothing, but to the rest of them it is THE time of the year. It is an epoch for all the families doomed to live upon this wasteland to show their family and friends just how little they have in terms of material possessions and to re-instill in them that they will never amount to much more than the haggard beings that they appear to be.

It is a time when the women, with the subtlety of thermonuclear diarrhea splotch hectares (or li as it is known here) of make up on their canary pallid skulls as they attempt to wash away the years of neglect and void that they feel inside. Hidden behind ‘daddly long leg’ like eyelashes and those moronic Panda hats, they hurry back to their little villages and brave the cold (buildings in southern China have no heat, and 99.99999 of the houses do not) , and brave the cold while wrapping their iddy biddy bodies in the latest of China knockoffs.

The men, for their part, are not only forced to spend time with those guilty of bringing them into this world and being from China, no less, and thus proffer gifts in lumpy red bags. The men, however, can escape the cancerous lump of a wife and one child disappointment through drink. They will consume the finest in overpriced knockoff Mao tai and Er gua to, relegating their brains into a pulpy mass of incoherence, which brings me to the communists.

For the communists, this is a time of festivity, a time to collect the Hong Bao’s or bribes. The majority of the grease money that goes into the villainous palms of the king reds is garnered at this time of year. Thus, the Rolex’s, the Pepe, the designer scarves flow like the blood of the villagers who succumbed to the beatings by the communist party members.

Oh yeah, the subways really really suck now, so stay away…

S&M in China – Lifestyle Choice or Snack Treat

China knocks off everything, even SM….

Toxic Titties in China-bad Breast Implants

Chinese women have it rough. Not only are they stuck with one child policy ,less than men, but they Also have Boney bodies. In order to rectify this, they buy themselves a chest. Buying chests is quite common in the world, for big guns are greeted with joy, at least in the west. And for the most part, women in the west have a healthy set of lungs. Chinese, are usually not so lucky, so they purchase their mamaries. The problem is that a french company who is making them may have fouled up and put some toxins in them. As if the Chinese don’t have it bad enough, without the rest of the world poisoning them…

China to launch Their Own International Hotel Line

China will launch a line of hotels, that although are overseas, will cater to traveling chinamen. I for one, am happy to know that now there is a place where they do not scorn you for shitting on the front steps, but reward you. After all the patrons will all be Chinese, who the hell else would even consider trying to snooze in a place that is destined to have canary skinned zombies roaming all hours of the night in their pajamas. Once I went on vaca, or tried to, but the Chinese ruined it. Utilizing , Chinese consideration, they whiled away the night shrieking in that annoying manner they did while the humans tried to get their snooze on. I guess I should not grouse, it is their country, nah screw that, I can bitch all I want. When they visit civilization, anywhere but china, they bitch too. Story here http://www.marketwatch.com/story/ihg-to-launch-china-hotel-brand-in-next-six-months-2012-01-04?reflink=MW_news_stmp

China to launch Their Own International Hotel Line

China will launch a line of hotels, that although are overseas, will cater to traveling chinamen. I for one, am happy to know that now there is a place where they do not scorn you for shitting on the front steps, but reward you. After all the patrons will all be Chinese, who the hell else would even consider trying to snooze in a place that is destined to have canary skinned zombies roaming all hours of the night in their pajamas. Once I went on vaca, or tried to, but the Chinese ruined it. Utilizing , Chinese consideration, they whiled away the night shrieking in that annoying manner they did while the humans tried to get their snooze on. I guess I should not grouse, it is their country, nah screw that, I can bitch all I want. When they visit civilization, anywhere but china, they bitch too. Story here http://www.marketwatch.com/story/ihg-to-launch-china-hotel-brand-in-next-six-months-2012-01-04?reflink=MW_news_stmp