Here is a rock star rant of epic proportions by none other than
THE KING!!
(btw King, I too have been sick as fk. Probably some little parasite that civilization exterminated decades ago)
All Rise!
“Well if you guys were wondering where in the hell I was the past few days, I was curled up paler than Micheal Jackson’s corpse. in a cold sweat trying to fight off demonic (Ergot mold), hallcinations ala (Freaks, a movie about circus freaks), because Carreyfour’s food once again poisons me with Fugu (pufferfish sushi), toxins. The Good news I am not further immuned to disease should the end comes in a zombified outbreak of some diesase, and likely rebuild Canmerican society like on “Postman, Stand, Red Dawn”. the bad news, I was up to my eyeballs in my own Jenkem. Fuck you China.
Things I’m going to do when I fuck off back to civilization, in 3 months. I got myself a knife for cooking, It’s very sharp. going to cut the cord of various expensive electronics, like the brain washing boob tube (honestly if the Chinese are gleefully clapping like Mormons at General Conference (a yearly concave of Mormondom, much akin to Chinese 5 year plans, and other “congress” meetings, where idiots clap like robots), then you are a BOOB. Anyways, because the fuzzy squared hair moron down stairs, who runs this flop house (I’d have to admit this is a clean apartment, shiny tiles, clean paint), refuses to install my internet even though I paid him honest good money for it. 5 days now… I’m going to fuck up his apartment, I’m getting a screwdriver and unscrewing anything I can unscrew, But I’ll make it appear as everything intact that way, when the fag who resides in that shit hole next, finds out. then it’ll be funny. I cut my finger on my shaver this morning, so I helter skelter font, with my own blood wrote “Fuck you China” my catch phrase here. I’m going to slash up the plasma screen. (This is actually a GOOD thing, I’m doing him or her a favor!, whyyyy? That way, he doesn’t waste fucking hours of his life trying to cook noodles with a piece of shit electronic mini stove, while watching “My fair Natasha” (She’s hot by the way, about a blond Red, warrior form Russia falling in love with a Chinese, fighting Japanese), Not even a movie. This fucking city can’t even give me a subtitled movie, I have to see little queer chinese boy bands, gay it up with “break dancing”, endless shows about why Japanese people are psychotic rapists…
Like you know you’re Chinese when…..
1) Shows revolve around mistresses,
2)Shows revolve around some fatso in a white 30’s playboy suit and stylish white fedora, shooting up Japanese
3)Shows revolve around some fatson and his mistress shooting up Japanese.
4)Shows revolve around money mistresses, some 30 playboy in stylish white fedora shooting up Japanese while riding in a motorcycle (again a completely different series)
5)shouting matches between your neighbors family involves 30s playboys in Fedoras shooting up Japanese while riding in a motorcycle, while daring dos. (a completely differnt series)
6-10) See 1 through 5.
Someone will simply have to pay for my sufferance, so why not make it my square fuzzy bristol push broom haired triangle mouth (those weird mouth lines that resemble two sides of a Equaliatrial triangle (Ummm like Obama). I’m fuming I’m pissed off, I’m sick, very very sick, physically, mentally, and emotionally, living in a nice apartment, but neverless, still in a noisy hell hole beside the Hongkou Football Stadium. (I’m going to go to games, just to enjoy watching the Shithui’s Shitghua team fucking LOSE”. 3 months my Visa will expire. If you fellow expats visas are about to expire here’s what you do. 1)Go to the Brazilian counsilate 2), file for a Brazilian Visa work permit 3) relocate your businesses to Brazil.
All evening I’m accosted by China’s “peace keeping” in Africa. (you know the same peace keeping where they enabled the likes of Joesph Kony, and the Jangaweed Militias, and All manners of evil). All evening I’m accosted by gibberish this “Nahne pu, narroulddddd ching ching, xing shou shou shou chaolll). This Shanghai district is just as intelligble as Klingon, except Klingons are cool. I refuse to debase myself to learn such a useless language. Ta Bo dolly dolly awwww?
Took some Juicy fruit and gumed up the trunk top of a Chinese driver. lol. Going to cut up the apartment’s washers, and all attaching hoses…. the hot water tank, the heater-ac, (it’s a cheap level 3 wasting piece of shit. breaking the bed, by playing “Floor is made of Lava”, fucking up their Plasma TV, unscrewing what I can unscrew. Lots of Rock star shit I can do. I can even gum up the coin machine for the washers. (so they have to keep on replacing this shit. Whyyyy? Because Fuck you China that’s why! And the province’s government gave me a medal for being a good boy helping the poor. What the fuck happened to me these 3 years? I guess 3 years or absolte retarded supidity, like fuck just trying to use the internet cafe…… Because the bimbo and fag boy couldn’t READ english. In Canmerica, just go in pay for a computer and leave.
Oh get this they have all sorts of fun games here. Guess which theme? 3 Kingdoms (war craft), and games that involve killing guess who? (pssst. The Japanese). You know something. I’m going to get my education, I’m going to participate in the JET program for a few Seasons… :Like this white Fedora wearing Chinese “dick tracy” looking hero killing Japanese soldiers with a pistol, yet the blood splatters seems like those Colt 45 Anacondas with big slugs (bullets that make a ugly mess), Yet these Japanese silkened samurais seem to jump off roots like batman. Graphics are a piece of shit. Like the Chinese can’t even do THIS right.
What else can I rant about. Oh yeah, the raw sweage smell, Well at least when I go back to Canada, I can save on Weed, I’m already perma fried from the stink. I’d like to make fun of the Chinese, but with 3 months to go, why bother? They’re stuck here in a place where grown adults debase themselves like animals, death and disease is rampant. I’m going back to my quite suburb to lick my wounds and prepair for my next adventure (hopefully the World Youh Day in Brazil), where I’m a bonified Christian.
I guess I can deface more Chinese bills with Christian slogans, like “Jesus is the God of China, he’s greater than the CPC, and he wants to bring you to heaven”. I still want to hand write a bible and leave it for some Chinese to read. This way I can say to God, at least I spread the message. I’d laugh if God actually intended me to do that, 3 years of Bullshit just for that. lol. Like that stupid Hong Kong lady I did my bone marrow operation for, she wasted her life. Oh noes I’m poor (she lives ina very well endowed apartment), I’m going to sulk in my apartment.
Will continue to push around idiots who get in my way as I exit the Metro. But it’s going to feel soooo good once I fly away back to a soverigh democratic country, I’m definatly going to learn how to shoot, will be expensive, but I will be taking up combative sports like Fencing, self defense, Kravz Maga, guns, so when these Chinese warriors, invade, under a chinese magical heavenly moon, They’ll face something even MORE bad ass. A CHINESE…… CANADIAN, (we’re high on Poutine, and Tim Hortons Donuts, we’re invincible, and lots and lots and lots of COFFEE. Don’t fuck with Canada. We’re like that psychotic dude with glasses in the army unit, who’s like quite and sweet and nice to people, (ummm like Sweet Chuck, or Little Mousy Hooks from Police Academy, until really pissed off….. Don’t piss off people who’s diet consists of Pizza and slurpees! just don’t do it China.