Understanding China, One Blog at a Time

An American in China

The King Rocks , Rolls and Rants

Posted by w_thames_the_d on April 12, 2012

From the one and only Gowron…

“Every fucking evening girly, high pitched squeeals of “men” mousy “men”, in very very tight pants, making silly noises like this, as they pass by my “inn” you know those really shitty cheap apartments built under those apartment blocks? That they renovated into a apartment-hotel. Every fucking evening, belching out squealies on the phones, prospective renters, arguments in the halls or just plain ol stupdity…. Like in the fuck is Dolly Bolly, what does this mean? (Dou Le, Bou Le ya). but the Gibberish of mashing up words, with Chinese you get some sort of soufle of aquadic creatures gargling, (like a fish creaature). (when they bloop their U, R, er, especially in Shanghai, especially in the north), so what you learned in Mandarin class is useless.So here I am trying to spend a quiet evening then I get door banging, yeee yeee yeee, and other distruption. Just as this morning, when some little Chinese monkey kept on banging on someone’s door.

I think they do this to dilibratly be jerks. If this being the case. Guess what I’m doing when I finally get my walking papers. walking around with a Tuba, around the fat ones here, and making ba ba ba ba ba booom ba ba ba a booom, notes, that indicate you’re a fat ugly Chinese fuck with a pig mutant face with square fuzzy hair. Then I’m doping all these faggot’s clothes, down the stairs so they’re unretrivable Then I’m taking my potato peeler Shanking the TV (unplugged), so it must be replaced, taking the potato peeler To unsheaf the washer wires All of the wire’s mylen (nerve protine coating of our nerves, ummm the plastic coating on wires). This way, There is no way in hell these fuckheads can plug in the wires without zapping themselves. Or perhaps I should just pour water on these unsheafed cords, so that there is an EMP blast in halls of hell. I Good thing my potatoe peeler has a “saw” blade. I’m sawwing the hanger bar, so they can’t hang clothes and will have to replace it. And as gross as this sounds. I’ll be wearing gloves I’m going to bung up the shower drain with my own you know what. Just to be a REAL , with all sorts of house hold garbages. Or even better leave the air con alone. and put garbage and my own shit, in the air outtake. In the stove’s fan area.
Like how dare this place chage me 1600 RMB for yee yee yeeeeeeee yeee yeee yeeeeee. that is if I’m leaving in 3 months, when my Visa expires, or do I do the SMS thing and see how much more punishment I can take, by watching the heart attack inducing news, reading it I mean. And listening to yeee yeeee yeeeee faggas who say yeee yeee yeeeee yeeee yeeee yeeee yeeee yeeee yeeee yeeeee yeeeee yeeee. Just to be a squaky voice fag. Yes dude I know you’re there, I know you have a high pitched voice, and I know you’ What the fuck am I doing here. I could be living in Whistler in a 100K (Cheap), condo, or house (getting stoned until jesus the good Lord returns to whisk us all to Video game land (aka my heaven). Like why am I here in listening to arguments, growling women’s voices, girly man’s voices yeee yeeee yeeee, and building a cheap boat, out of a Kit, so I can sail to North Korea, and make a run for it, so I can get some sort of Freedom medal or something. Or participate in ferrying necessary materials to isolated areas to combat poverty, Oh well I guess here’s where I pay my dues, and earn the resources for this dream, one of many.

tonights “Yeee Yeee Yeeee” (news). Like these tight pants non drop of testostrone, soft skinned castrados cant even give me one night where I could eat my junk food (Found some pudding, at last!), donuts, (I’m Canadian, we need donuts to live), and some coconut milks, But I’m accosted with Yeeee Yeee Yeee, and other nonsensical jibberish.

So maybe that’s the life form me. Just being a Ski Bum, and represent Team Canada, live with a bunch of like minded enviromentalists in Whilstler, (If any of you British Columbians are out there, a big hearty fuck you and your paradises, I’m so jealous! Why Can’t Alberta have paradises like this?), I could like just fuck off from Earth with some shrooms dope, and wander the forests naked, hmmmmm or I could go back to Calgary, high morgage, “Big City life”, my beloved Flames LOSING (again damn you and your Canucks, and all the so called big money I make in Alberta with no taxes, and American like (Govenor Arnie like policies, Bush like policies, it’s strange Alberta is more North than the “North”, but they more “South” than the “South. Meh my family are in Calgary lol. But Goddamit 100K in Whistler a beautiful paradise yuppie ski village… Like the avarage home in Calgary in a non crack hood, is at least 500,000….And like Atlanta, it suburbianites and grows and grows and grows….

Well here’s to hoping that the last of the Bushite-Nobama stupidity blows over, and we can rebuild Americanada. People people just 5 dollars a month, does SOOOOO much for America, that’s. 1.5 Billion ( 5 into 300 Million) a Month times that by 12 more is some Crazy number.

One Response to “The King Rocks , Rolls and Rants”

  1. MELISSA said


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