Understanding China, One Blog at a Time

An American in China

Must Read, Chinese Cops Try Shakedown a Foreigner and Get Punked

Posted by w_thames_the_d on June 2, 2012


Chinese Cops tried to shake down The King who is a human and from Canada. His features, however are Chinese, so in china they think they could punk him. Of course the King represented Canada and plunked them all.
READ THIS, THIS IS REALLY CHINA!
The King
Oh mannnn I finally get to use my “Ni Ma Cow Ruben June ran” (Your mother fucked a Japanese soldier), line to no less a little skinny Chinese emperior.Who thought he could just confront me on the street.See he ran a red. I kicked his car as it went by, and the little stinky sweat colour skin fag decided to confront me. (Big mistake), so I just laugh at his stature and walk on, then he grabs me. I push him calling him a mother fucker. A Chief Wiggims looking cop, (those big nostrled Chinese Jebba the Hutt looking mutants), finally does his job (gee what about the time my Dragon of a step mom was battering me (fly swatting me) in Zhuhai airport lol. We get taken down to the Child Rape shop (police station). Where the prince actually stood there with the princess poise. (straight back, little skinny paws in “Fists” flexing upwards. trying to explain the story). That I was a savage laowai, Japanese warrior trying to rape Shanghainese babies and eat them. (That I was punching him. When All I did was give him a shove). When they learned I was a canuck, you could hear the Sex Pistols song “Money”, or cha qing sound echo in his head (because of his schooling nothing is in there). I laughed and gave him him 160 (18 USD), to pay for “scuff marks” (rubber marks).

He had family in the car, waited 2 hours in a Child Rape shop, was pushed hard like the leaf he is, his car has shanghai human shit on it.I got my rocks off abusing him, and he just stood there like all shamed Chinese youths, just silent in that ignoring expression. AND on many occasions, because this was caught on tape, that he was ready to plow into a bunch of people me included. Who even witnessed on my behalf. (wow Chinese with a soul, Truly a blessing from God). The cops just wanted me to apologize to him, and or pay for repairations (which he just meh brushed it away). I just gave the innocent doe like anime eyes…. and alot of Autistic like answers, especially with broken Chinese….. On many occasions I apologize and do the hand shake which he flattly rejected, by brushing my hand away. I even make smiley faces saying awww cheer up (sincerely), charming the cops, fustrating him, that he can’t get my laowai money and they were influenced by my polite Canadian charm, and fustrated that I’m polite to the cops, shining them on. Especially one who could speak the Guangdong Redneck Chinese dialect. He was expecting like 500 RMB or some shit like that lol (30 USD). So essensially I entertained myself, and all I lost was so called gaming money. (internet cafe, amazing this is a cleaner virturally smoke free one lol). So took his “manhood”, all because be decided to jump out of his car in busy traffic and be a bitch, and I wasted his time 2 hours (I’m Canadian, we have all the time in the world lol, pot and booze helped us to evolve Zen like preceptions).

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