I Speak Mishmash- Your Guide to Speaking Chinese

Chinese, or mandarin, the language spoken by half of the people living in China, or roughly 650,000,000 people is an aural cancer of mumbles, groans and feral grunts that farrowing sows would be at home with, but which those of us who are accustomed to speaking ‘human’ fail to comprehend.

Take the word for hungry as an example. The word sounds like ‘uh’ or ‘er’, something one mumbles when not really in agreement with another party, but still wants to sound civil. As an example, think of how you respond to 99% of your conversations with a person from China. So, while you are saying uh or um, Charlie Chinaman thinks you are telling him that you are hungry, and so it goes.

There are other examples, such as the words for ‘to eat’, ‘to drink’, and ‘ocean’, which are chi, he and hai respectively. But in human the sounds come off as chae her and hi.

The chinese, carrying a several thousand year-old chip on their shoulders, will attempt to romanticize their verbal squalor by claiming that each word has many ‘tones’ . Which are from low to high pitched, high pitched, high to low and one that sounds like diarrhea. And these magical ‘tones’ are the difference between the word ‘ma’ meaning ‘horse’ or ‘mother’.

Being a realist, I have to wonder about all that. What the Chinese see as tones would frighten off legions of Procyonidae and or result in a blood letting of the cochlea of all hominids within miles.

Take for instance, your common Chinese subway, a stinky hunk of tin, jam-packed with passles of China’s best and worst, all engulfed in a union of misery and despair as they trundle off to dead-end jobs in which they are seen no more valuable than the stuff you scrape from the back of your tongue after a night of Taco Bell feasting.

These beings will screech, howl, groan and spit, all in the semblance of organized thought and idea transmission. While the others of their ilk take it all in stride and may actually understand them, those of us hailing from civilization are reduced to nosebleeds, headaches and the feeling that we are oooo so glad that we are from ABC- Anywhere But China.

(btw- only half of these duds speak Mandarin, share this with your friends who say ‘hey a over billion people speak chinese. Well, not in China. According to uncle chicom, if we can really believe him, as of a few years ago, the majority of the people here spoke dialects, not proper chinagarble. Google it.)

What Corruption Looks Like in China

The following is an excerpt from China’s Surge in Corruption by M Johnson et. al. here . It describes how corruption occurs in China and has occured in the past. The author sheds light on the fact that under Mao’ist communism, there was no private property, thus one did not directly steal from someone else. The authors claim that to a certain extent this lack of distinction between what is mine and what is the states’ is at play. In addition, the authors state that stalled reforms have enabled rampant theft.
Excerpt:
“Official profiteering thus became a growing problem, as many administrators engaged in moonlighting and stock dealing, as well as in giving and accepting bribes. In Liaoning Province, for instance, the Liaoxing Shiyie Company was set up by 12 provincial officials who purchased and resold steel, chemicals, and petroleum. In Nanjing, the same 1,000 tons of steel were purchased and resold 223
times among 83 companies and danwei over a period of several months, with the price increasing from 1,663 to 4,650 yuan per ton….

In the end, many analysts accept for the whole of China Jean Oi’s contention that much of the corruption that has occurred in rural China since the launching of reforms has resulted not from the introduction of market systems per se, but from the incompleteness of the reforms, resulting in a system that is doubly plagued by problems attributable both to the plan and to the market. These problems reflect a system that has failed to remove all the sources of corruption inherent in the socialist planned economy while opening new opportunities for malfeasance with the addition of a partial market….

Conceptions of corruption have been affected in the past by official campaigns, but in the late 1970s official corruption generally still meant three things: tanwu, shouhui, and tequan. Tanwu (malpractice) was the misappropriation of public property by state officials through embezzlement, theft, or
swindling. Shouhui referred to the use of official positions to take in bribes. Tequan (privileges) encompassed a range of privilege-seeking activities by officials.

By the early 1990s, however, “corruption” had broadened to include fubai (a generic term, meaning
“decay and putrefaction,” that is used as a metaphor for corruption) and guandao (official speculation or profiteering). Traditional guanxi has been joined by new forms. Other patterns surviving from Mao’s era have changed: local cadres who once used bureaucratic evasions to protect (or feed) their neighbors now do so to enrich themselves, while clientelism has shifted somewhat from lower-level to higher-level cadres.

Moreover, the forms of conduct labeled “corrupt” have multiplied. A collation of corruption reports in the Chinese press between June and November 1993, for example, included not only instances of embezzlement and bribery, but also offenses against financial and economic discipline, swindling, and indiscriminate collection of fees from peasants; blackmail, smuggling, and black-market currency exchanges; establishing illegal businesses, resale profiteering, and substitution of defective or counterfeit goods; illegal price increases, indiscriminate issuance of bonuses, and malpractice in assigning jobs”

read here http://conferences.wcfia.harvard.edu/sites/projects.iq.harvard.edu/files/gov2126/files/johnston_hao__china_surge_corruption.pdf

China is the World’s Largest Jail for Journalists

Reporters without borders gives us a glimpse into the reality of reporting in various countries. They report on the best and the worst. Thus, they have info on China. The interesting thing is that this group does not hide behind cliche’s in an attempt at not defending the communists in charge.

Here is part of what Reporters Without Borders has to say about China:

“China is the world’s biggest prison for journalists, bloggers and cyber-dissidents. Most of the around one hundred prisoners have been sentenced to long jail sentences for “subversion” or “divulging state secrets” and are held in harsh conditions, with journalists often being put to forced labour. The local authorities, fearful of bad publicity from reports on corruption and nepotism, continue to arrest journalists.”- found herehttp://en.rsf.org/report-china,57.html

What most people do not realize, however, is that the imprisonment of journalists and bloggers is the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. Some may point to the number of journalists imprisoned and harassed and state that China is actually getting better or making progress. They would contend that the Chinese now have the ability to rant, the jailing of authors proves this.

What they fail to consider is that China has a saying, “you kill the chicken to scare the monkey”

Conceptually this means that a person or entity is singled out and brutalized, think Tienanmen 1989. An attack on this entity is meant to shake the other 139,999,9999,999 chinese to their core. Thus, in the context of journalsts, the chicoms brutalize, harass and jail them, but what they are doing is sending a message to the masses. Those who are jailed are nothing more than a sacrificial lamb. The chinese are telling the masses that if the will act so brutally against an official entity vz professional reporter or newspaper, than just imagine what they will do to you Mr. Typical Chinaman.

The impact can be felt in the fear that many have to divulge the dirty little secrets of China. Even the mainstream press, imho is culpable. Sure they may talk about Bo Xilai, but the party is doing it as well. If the mainstream press were free to report as they choose, then why is there silence on the depth and scope of China’s threat to US security, such as hacking? Shouldn’t this be reported on by the people close to the action-us?

Beyond that, one has to wonder why only US based writers are reporting on things like this:
“Chinese companies apparently have a covert capability to remotely access communications technology sold to the United States and other Western countries and could “disable a country’s telecommunications infrastructure before a military engagement,” according to former and current intelligence sources.” found here

The article- quoting intelligence from ex-spooks, states that China, while exploiting tech sold by Huawei and ZTE, can access and cripple US infrastructure that is dependent on them. While this sounds too James Bondish for those of limited intellect, I would assume that those of you with a brain can see how this may occur.

I am no expert in tech, but understand the net, routers and such. All of these things can carry backdoors in both the hardware and the software. Such backdoors have legitimate uses such as debugging. These backdoors can also be used to house malicious code that can be exploited such as malware. When exploited, these programs can grant total access to the malefactor.

Huawei claims that their tech is safe and that their code can be studied and verified, but how realistic is this. If we are talking hardware, then code can be baked into discreet units, all of which , presumably must be checked. Aside from that, I have it on good stead that detecting malicious code is a complicated task and what may appear to be a grammar error can actually house a virus or worse.

But back to reporters without borders. If reporting about China is so open, why then, did such an incredible report such as this have to come from a US staffer, via LIGNET-a Langley based intelligence service.

Huawei’s tech center is on the north side of Beijing, surely someone here must know something, and if they do then why aren’t they reporting it? Does it make more sense to keep us appraised of the Beijing smog level or the fact that the communists have the ability to shut down parts of our telecom infrastructure?

Call me crazy, but I’d much rather read about the latter.

Video of Chinese Empathy

This video sums up what Chinese people are like

Click here or cut and paste this below

http://player.ku6cdn.com/default/out/pv201205141813.swf?ver=108&vid=OqnjIWhy4aXMonFzH363bA..&type=v&referer=http%3A%2F%2Ftt.mop.com%2Fread_12267287_1_0.html

Detailed Description of Chinese TV Programming

The King schools us on the reality of CommieCast aka TV in China.

The King
“All the while living here in the big stinky one would hear the annoying catterwauling of some Heroic Klingonesque love-war song. usually involking fictional deep chinese cords. Like he ho he ho he ho he ho he ho. Like some Martial breathing. Then some annoying Chinese flute, then some soft pricely chorus about some prince slaying demons to rescue some love, while Erhu (Chinese guitar) ahhhhhh fuck it. I can’t take this big stinky anymore.”

Chinese cowards:

http://www.chinasmack.com/2011/stories/wife-beaten-and-raped-while-cowardly-husband-hides-nearby.html

http://www.chinasmack.com/2012/stories/girl-escapes-boyfriends-abuse-covered-with-infected-cuts.html

China, Too Many People, Too Few Resources