Understanding China, One Blog at a Time

An American in China

King on His Triumphant Return to Civilization, aka Canada

Posted by w_thames_the_d on August 7, 2012

Here is The King’s take on being back in civilization

From The King
So, experimenting with my new found freedoms, I decided to drop in my old church…. If I have a car then I can visit family (but education comes first). Wow lots of hoomons kept on wishing me Good morning, as I walked my weary fat lazy butt to church (to begin the process of transmogrification, or how to resurrect and be reborn). Something I should have done before leaving for the Big Stinky. but was too lazy…. Wow amazed, nice peaceful morning, fresh air, trees, and stuff.

-It was like I was on some Star Trek or optimistic utopian planet….. Canada planet. (or Suburbian America….). Either that or I’m dead, from the big stinky, and in heaven…… There’s a funny joke I once made on the internet “Am I allowed to be a soccer hooligan” and then someone responded “Ummm you’re Canadian, all you can be is an obnoxious drunk”, heheheheheheehe….. I still think I’m dead on another planet, and reaping all these deeds for giving blood, but all the angels don’t want me upset that the Big Stinky killed me in my prime, before family, before meeting my wife for the proper sex, and or common law girlfriend… so they only like pretend to be Calgarians, (from before I left, and was corrupted to be a swearing idiot because of the hell like Big Stinky. Please people do not come here. I don’t want to see you guys in pain. please………

Anyways, This is the life I want security, some place clean, perhaps live in an older suburb, (no sense in getting a new house, just renovate one, make some work for some contractors, so they can feed their kids…). join the reserves, and use all that field craft in scouts, (So that I don’t have to fight, and make army conditions obsolete. (this won’t happen not until Jesus returns, or Buddah, (Mytrana), and other Messarch figures of any religion…. (psssst. I actually think they’re from another planet, and Earth is just one of those 3rd tier worlds a 3rd world world.. Think about it, the Golden age of man was when they WALKED on earth, and through great powers terraformed Earth, and saw that it was good etc etc etc. Until Hoomons fucked everything up, Especially the Chinese).

But it’s good that I’m slowly getting into the swing. and so lucky to live in Calgary next to all this wilderness, in Edmonton all our outdooring for scouts was a nice piece of land or section donated by a wealthy farmer…….. I re-discovered yard care….. my garden (just some shrubs that didn’t die over the years, grew into some super plants), and I am eager to begin this great Canmerican tradition of growing crazy shit in your yard. Orginally I planned to grow some fresh stuff for the poor (ie food bank. but since, they dont’ take perishables, (the instructions from the lady who called be back wasn’t clear), perhaps I can grow some for the homeless shelter. Like these super tomatoes. I discovered that many gardening trees are very suitable for growing fruits. (why not, I wonder, increase the property values), clean the air, bees polinate, create eco system for bugs and other life forms, and growing sustaining vitamin inducing and delicious fruits for impoverished people. And I get to goof off in the dirt….

Like Cherries grow out here! black berries in Alberta, and get this… Goji berries (the Siberian shamans brought it over when the settled North America, becomeing the awesome Aborginals)… Like China claims that they’re the only ones that have the Goji, but this grows very very wild in Alberta. Like berries are very very good at flushing away prostrate cancer…. Apple juice, cider, dandelions (ironically). Maybe I grow a patch of dandelion (they have to be purified, weed-ex and stuff has poisoned them), but this stuff that the French brough over, really kicks Aging germs asses. and the ever invasive and popular out of control Canola…..
But first I need a yard of my own……. I’m so glad that I don’t have the tastes of middle aged Chinese men, (have to spend so much on a auto, what’s wrong with a beat up man mobile right? that respresents your indifagable spirit. The more you work, the longer you live, you move the blood and piss and pus around, and they all go out your dick. Sure my bullies and tormentors (fellow Chinese Canadians, who are all engineers and doctors by now), have you lifted one finger for your common man? The REAL test of manhood? sure I’d likely end up in a pauper grave, but at least it will have a grin. Either from the dope that some young priest dude slips into my food feeling I had enough fighting for freedom…. and from knowing I was there I’m poor, but I kicked ass to support the infrastructure that makes it easier for the children on the Fame musical Play live out their dreams. This is what school high school counsilors do…. Wait a minute did I just add the string high school counilsor…. as in the guys who called me stupid and a loser….. pttth I have a medal…. i’m out there saving the world. and planting trees in my back yard to give homeless brave people (believe me, drug users and homeless are brave…. if not, they would have jumped a long time ago. They fight for survival, this is a sick world, very very sick especially in the big Stinky people, because in China…. nobody gives 4 fucks for others…… May God use my body as a breakable tool to build his world. a world where young and old can have as many chances as possible to realize their dreams. THIS is my Americanadian dream….. WEll that and shoving my Combat knife up That fat faggot’s piss hole (Baby-baby kim). I’m going to cut off his fat and sell it as soap! Remember…. I’m a future Scout master….. lol. Speaking of Crazy scout masters. had Scouter Denis gone crazy and attacked my bully scout dicks he would have also been a crazy Scout master-killer named Denis (context the BTK killer). I only fuck Commies up. not Americanadians…. lol. not to worry your kids are in good hands. I don’t like Scouter Denis. HE didn’t give me a man of letters merit badge. Yet I evolved into an A+ university writing bullshitter (Bullshit is ok only if you apply the scientific method and BACK UP YOUR SHIT with real shit….. is like my brother one of the many growing break dancers….. Is like that is like that…. Oh an it was just as weird going to church in Hong Kong (Catholic), where prayer for the souls of aborted was prayed for, and then is not prayed for at my church here. Is double stranged.

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