Understanding China, One Blog at a Time

An American in China

Fast Food in China is not So Fast

Posted by w_thames_the_d on June 5, 2013


The US went to great lengths to invent fast food and like so many such things the Chinese have ruined it. Fast food in China is never fast.

Have you noticed how the Chinese are so obtuse that simple conversation is set aside for large scale debate?

‘Can I have a Coke?

Hot or cold?

Do you have hot Coke?

No,

Or

“I want Kung pao chicken

you want kung paor or oriental

kung pao

oriental is spicy it is good

kung pao

here look, here is the oriental’

They have limited language and reasoning skills.

Consequently, they totally ruin the fast food experience. The jug headed man or women before you in line will undoubtedly unleash a fury of questions before placing an order.

‘Hi, can I take your order?”

Is answered with a near lethal oral hemorrhage of stupidity. ‘What do you have?” asks the idiot at the counter, who was reared on cultural revolution logic.

The whole time I am thinking wtf?

Its freaking McDonalds, what do you think they have? Aside from this, they make it easy for you, its the production line of the food world. Three basic choices, beef, chicken and fish. Added to that you have a handful of veggies and nothing else.

It’s not as if they have clandestinely placed something onto the menu in order to trip you up. I have yet to visit a McDonalds which serves pot roast and potatoes, for instance. And if they did serve this it would be proudly displayed all over the place. But of course the Chinese are too lazy to do anything such as read, why not just ask.

Thus, they dawder up to the counter and feeble mindedly ask every question under the sun. ‘What do you sell here? Do you have potatoes, milk, coffee, tea, kung pao chicken”

I am wondering what alternate reality this idiot came from. It’s like that one Terminator movie where some guy is sent to another planet. I mean, Mickey D’s has been around for over 60 years and this idiot has no idea what they serve?

First off, I know they had a cultural revolution which set them back a few years, but that was 40 years ago, have they been hiding under a rock ever since.

You can see it in their eyes, these morons ‘doe in headlight’ it up the cash register as if it is a pop quiz. ‘What do we offer sir?’

uh, uh uh- moron says

Wrong, idiot!- Mickey D’s says

Then ‘moron’ is whisked away and beaten, just like in the past.

To me fast food is just one more thing the Chinese can never get right.

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