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An American in China

Archive for August 29th, 2013

Top Secret Pics Of China’s High Tech Lunar Lander

Posted by w_thames_the_d on August 29, 2013

China is promising to land a rocket on the moon this year. What this means is 1- they have stolen blueprints from 1960s NASA
2- thats one more place for them to screw up with their spitting and trash
3- if they can land a rocket on the moon, then why can’t they invent something like toilet paper or spittoons?
4- dollars to doughnuts says the collective shit that Chinese astronauts is as big as Texas. Knowing how poorly the Chinese are at building stuff, who wants to fly to the moon on made in China trash?

Here is a top secret document of what the Chinese space module will look like.

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Organ Harvester Rips Out 6 Year Old’s Eyeballs in China

Posted by w_thames_the_d on August 29, 2013

sometimes you wake up in China and you are like, ‘wow, I am so happy….’ And then you hack up lung sacs, eye the abysmal gray Beijing air, resent the fact that each room has only one wall outlet and as a consequence, your extension cord redefines the phrase ‘fire hazard’, and you start to rethink your happiness.

And then you begin to wonder if the day is going to be good, after all, aside from huffing noxious toxins in the air, you cannot trust the milk, the pork, nor the water. And then with China’s newest comrade in arms, aka Xi, you can be jailed for ‘spreading rumors’ on line.

And then you are like,’ no today is not going to be a good day because I live n China’.

And then, to make matters worse, you read about some organ harvesting Chinese bitch who lured a 6 year old kid into the woods and gouged out his eyeballs. Something happened and the kid ran blind back to his village and they searched for the woman but she was gone. The villagers did find the eyeballs, which still had the corneas, which the woman sought.

And then, you shake your head in disgust and wonder why you would expect anything less from a country which considers genocide to be a national sport.

In the end, their is no tear filled happiness surrounding the little child and their torment. The kid may get back his sight, but what will his life be like..

On a positive note, the family of the woman who took out his eyes is probably buying a house in your neighborhood, or her child is sitting next to you in your university class.

Have a happy China day today.

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