Understanding China, One Blog at a Time

An American in China

Dating a Chinese Woman

Posted by w_thames_the_d on September 11, 2013

Woe to thee who decideth to marry, nah even date a woman from China, the risk outweighs the reward by a factor of 1,340,000,000.

But before you consider my decision a hasty one, let me explain. First off, lets discuss the positives, er, um, en, well….’me scratching my head’.

See, the positives of a Chinese woman gives are not much more than one could give oneself, to wit: we all know how to toss off, we all can degrade ourselves, we all can piss away our money, we can all humiliate ourselves and be verbally abusive, so just what can a Chinese woman do to us that we cannot do to ourselves?

Let me start a list;
We need Chinese women to
– have another guy’s baby and force us to child support
– invite old as dirt thicket of grandparents and parents who, odds are, have feasted on the flesh or their younger siblings in the late 50s or lost a sibling due to this
-have red guard family members who have killed the affluent and educated, and now invite them to live with you
-convince you China has 5000 years of ‘civilization” , only to find out that the word ‘civilization’ literally will get into a fistfight with you if you try to stick it next to the word ‘China or Chinese’ -convince you to buy her mom a house for $200k when its true value is $3.78
Stand still and -pout in public, and then shriek in mandar-mish mash, while all the fat headed ex red guard Chinese glower at you as if you’d raped her -talk to her friends through a whole movie
– text her friends through a whole meal

Feel free to add to this list

Why is it that if you have a million monkeys plonking away at typewriters that they will create a classic novel, when you can put the same machines in front of Chinese and all they will give you is shit?

16 Responses to “Dating a Chinese Woman”

  1. Sprite said

    -text her friends and guanxi during sex
    -to experience how it is to fuck
    – stand still and shut your mouths when is constantly “meeting” other men for dinner and tete-a-tetes behind your back, expecting you to accept it and not calling it cheating
    -to experience the great feeling of having married a whore who sleeps with the highest-bidding scumbag in hotels
    -to sleep alone at home for 360 days because sometimes she is travelling and not coming home at all (she must “work”, is “busy”, has “meetings”)
    – face daily lies straight into your face
    – to have a wife who goes to work dressed like a prostitute and who meets other men/business contacts/guanxi, dressing like prostitute
    – to take care of the child we have with her, alone. becaiuse she comes back home from “work” at 10-11 PM from monday-saturday and sleeps until 1 PM on sundays and is never at home and no care for the childexcept for eating and sleeping

    -to share our homes with her aunts, parents, grandparents to take care of the child and cook chinese food for it
    -to keep our mouths shut
    -to live an isolated life in china,not being allowed to invite our friends but to entertain her dumb friends during a whole evening and practise english with them
    -to be a free english teacher for her friends
    – to constantly hear that we are laowai and stupid.
    -to be drained to the last drop of blood and to the last penny
    -to give all to her but never to expect anything in return.

  2. Sprite said

    -to experience how it is to fuck a dead soul less, emotionless body (2x a year;if she is not “busy” and “tired”)

  3. Me said

    -to engage in meaningless conversation about Beijing houseprices
    – to watch her steal money from us in order to support her corrupt family

  4. Fanta said

    – to feel guilty after having sex with her
    – to have sex 2 times a year
    – to get AIDS
    – to get lied to constantly
    – to be beaten up by her chinese friends in china if one does not agree with her slutty lifestyle or criticise her
    – to know how it feels to be married with a woman who never wears the marriage ring when she is meeting business contacts and company bosses……aka “meetings”
    – to discover condoms in her bag before she wents to a “business meeting” for her company in china
    – to learn how it feels to be a jew in nazi germany in 1938
    – to get tricked bye her into signing an alleged chinese renting contract for an apartment which in real is a contract for BUYING an apartment
    – to get your child kidnapped by her and her kin without fearing any legal consequences, since you are a foreigner

  5. More... said

    – to be treated to a family full of chronic halitosis mouthed ex red guards who love to berate all foreigners
    – to learn how to hate
    – to learn how to lie and cheat
    – to learn how to emotionally abandonen your children

  6. quoter said

    to learn that these words in china from a chinese wife “i had to write a business report, that’s why i came back home late at 4 a.m.”

    actually means:

    “I had my usual dinner with other men behind your back, then I went to a bar with my slutty high-heels and then I let them fuck me in a hotel nearby, to make sure that I get my commission and contracts fixed. for my success and face in my company. after that i ate spicy noodles and then I came back home and slept like an angel. what is wrong with that? stupid laowai husband, why are you angry?, this is china.shut up stupid. apologize for looking at me like THAT or i will hate you and will kill you! I want to sleep now. go!”

  7. quoter said

    – to learn how to cheat and lie
    – to understand how deep she and her whole race suffers of an inferiority complex
    – to study an excellent example for narcissistic personality disorder

  8. quoter said

    -to learn how to emotinally abandon your children
    -to live a life of horror
    – to kno how it feels to live with a primitive primate who cares a shit about, your kid, your feelings and the world
    – to enjoy the fact that you are living with a materialistic narcissistic prostitute who is totally useless as a wife, woman, human, mother and never understands the meaning of marriage, love, responsibility and life.
    – to be used
    – to smell really bad shit smell all over
    – to feel like we are married to her aunt and grandmother (cuz they are always at home, but not her) and not to her

  9. Me said

    To remind you of the alleged superiority of a race of people who nowadays live like mules.

  10. quoter said

    why do chinese women’s shit smell so terribly bad? Because they fuck for money, cheat on their husbands and eat disgusting food like chicken feets, pig anus and spicy recycled crap.

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