Understanding China, One Blog at a Time

An American in China

Medusa Head and Skank Chinese

Posted by w_thames_the_d on October 10, 2013

Ok, I’m sitting here on my Chinese made Iprod and damn if I don’t need a hair cut. That drop dead gorgeous mofu in the screen has a whicker basket worth of shite on the top of his head. If medusa were around, she’d be dripping and slither on over for some happy time with yours truly.

The problem, however, is that I live in China. And China, as if you did not know it, is pleasantly fked. Their contribution to the world is limiting their offspring to a 2:1 ratio, which I am lobbying to have reduced. But back to my lid.

So I’m staring at my reflection and wondering just htf i let myself go. It seems like someone slipped me a ‘chia pet’ micky and my hair has gone nuclear. I suppose I could chance it and go to a Chinese ‘barber’, but I think I’d rather go to a whack shack instead.

Either that or stroll the streets of Beijing in a clown suit and laugh at all the locals who are worse off than I, but I’d die from oxygen starvation.

On a serious tip, I could go out but chinese barbers give me the creeps. They all have that nasty long pinky nail and believe that ramming their microbe sized jimmy whack in your elbow, a greeting of sorts.

And then you have to put up with their incessant hyena howls, war cries and worse yet, deplorable English.

On second thought, i suppose I will just do the logical thing and just start yanking my hair out by the roots instead.

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