Understanding China, One Blog at a Time

An American in China

Medusa Head and Skank Chinese

Posted by w_thames_the_d on October 10, 2013


Ok, I’m sitting here on my Chinese made Iprod and damn if I don’t need a hair cut. That drop dead gorgeous mofu in the screen has a whicker basket worth of shite on the top of his head. If medusa were around, she’d be dripping and slither on over for some happy time with yours truly.

The problem, however, is that I live in China. And China, as if you did not know it, is pleasantly fked. Their contribution to the world is limiting their offspring to a 2:1 ratio, which I am lobbying to have reduced. But back to my lid.

So I’m staring at my reflection and wondering just htf i let myself go. It seems like someone slipped me a ‘chia pet’ micky and my hair has gone nuclear. I suppose I could chance it and go to a Chinese ‘barber’, but I think I’d rather go to a whack shack instead.

Either that or stroll the streets of Beijing in a clown suit and laugh at all the locals who are worse off than I, but I’d die from oxygen starvation.

On a serious tip, I could go out but chinese barbers give me the creeps. They all have that nasty long pinky nail and believe that ramming their microbe sized jimmy whack in your elbow, a greeting of sorts.

And then you have to put up with their incessant hyena howls, war cries and worse yet, deplorable English.

On second thought, i suppose I will just do the logical thing and just start yanking my hair out by the roots instead.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: