Understanding China, One Blog at a Time

An American in China

China’s Coat of Arms, The Tiananman ‘Not Massacre’ and other China Stuff

Posted by w_thames_the_d on October 20, 2013

Here is a rant chock a block full of China goodies…. By InterMezzo

“here is a picture of china’s real flag:


china’s real coat of arms:

china’s REAL history, the CCP doesn’t want the world (and it’s lemmings aka citizens) to know:


“On June 4th, 1989, according to the official records of the CCBP (Chinese Communist Block Party), on this day the sun was shining, so Deng Xiaoping decided to have a nice picnic with his friends out in the countryside. On the way home, he saw a cute kid selling homemade lemonade by the roadside, so he bought six glasses for only one yuan each, and then gave the kid a shiny button to take home. Oh, and some student in Tiananmen Square made some graffiti that was cleaned up by authorities soon after. Nothing to see here, nothing to see at all! Move along folks. ”

“It’s a well known fact that the Chinese invented everything. The Chinese people are proudest however of four great inventions, which they call, “The Four Great Inventions of China.” These are 1) gunpowder (which the Chinese mix into their New Year’s fireworks to frighten evil human rights activists and Tibetans) 2) the printing press (which they used in turn to invent bureaucracy) 3) Senkousha, and, last but not least, 4) McDonalds. ”

Chinese manpower

“Optical Illusions were also invented by the Chinese. The best example of this is the great wall of China which makes China appear to be bigger than it really is. In the 1960’s when the US president ordered the invasion of the moon, the first troops there commented on how big China looked with its great wall surrounding all the sweat shops. If only they had looked in the opposite direction they might have noticed the first “Mr Wong’s” chinese take-away on the moon (as the Chinese got there 12 years earlier but returned due to a lack of passing trade). ”

Advanced Chinese fighter.

“Recent scientific studies at CERN , under the supervision of noted scientific genius Oscar Wilde, discovered that the Chinese had many genetic differences from other humans. Instead of evolving from regular monkeys, the Chinese evolved from Sun Wukong, thus the reason why the Chinese look so different from other people, and why they are so dam smart! ”

“After the economic disaster of the Cultural Revolution, China began to tentative embrace capitalism much like an awkward teen clumsily feels up his first girlfriend. ”

Since China has become so overpopulated, the government has come up with the solution of the One-Child-Policy as well as the lesser-known Crush-At-Least-One-Man-Daily-With-A-Tank policy.

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