Understanding China, One Blog at a Time

An American in China

Chinese Are Fake

Posted by w_thames_the_d on November 14, 2013

The Chinese are probably one of the few races that glamorize deceit. Historically a good liar was revered, and so you can figure out what they are all about.

Nowadays they lie with their mere presence. For instance, the men dress like men but lack the requisite qualities thereof- see previous posts. The women are built like wall paper but even flatter. They hide this, of course, with bras that squeeze skin and fat from their stomachs to their backs and shove it up front so it appears that they have a tit, which they do not.

Even their names are fake. You will get a message from &@$%#{{} , whose ‘English name’ is Hank, or 007 or bossman. Your female counterpart will no doubt go by ‘Summer’ ‘Daisy’ or Amy. Of course her real name looks like €>#%<}{ and translates to ‘runs slow like sewer water’, but who wants to be called that if they can avoid it?

So they lie and we allow them to do so. Wang Dong, we call Mike, and both feel stupid in the process. After all, when I picture a Mike, it is a man or boy, freckles, sandy hair etc. What I don’t picture is a perfect circle for a head which is hole-punched with indian corn for teeth, lips the size of eels and the stature of a toothbrush. I also do not expect him to smell of cat urine and bees wax.

But then again, this is China.

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