Understanding China, One Blog at a Time

An American in China

Too Many or Too Dumb? Assessing China

Posted by w_thames_the_d on December 17, 2013


Ok, today I do away with my Mr. nice Guy attitude and bring the real, Chinese are dumb.

Consider me a racist, intolerant and or bigot? Well, that may be true, but it still does not change the fact that Chinese are dumb.

Lets analyze my not so ‘gross overgeneralization’, shall we?

I was just at the bank, aka hell on earth, and I had an epiphany, these people are dunderheads. Aside from being flummoxed by things like escalators, elevators and money machines, they are mystified by the most basic human life functions such as getting money from a bank, to ordering McDonalds cuisine. What most of us take for granted as common sense, befuddles 1,299,999,999 Chinese.

For instance, when we humans go to a bank, we have a mission- get out money, or perhaps put it in. The transaction is more simple than writing this post.

You – hi, I want some money
Teller- hi, how much
You- blah blah
Teller-ok

The teller then touches some gadgets and whips out some paper, signatures may be exchanged and you are off, but not in China.

The Chinese seem hell bent on confounding the most simple processes known to man.

Chinese at mcdonalds- ‘ grumble grumble, give me food.’
Mcdonalds ‘chef’- ok what do you want

Chinese at mcdonalds- what do you have?
Mcdonalds ‘chef’- ‘look at the board’ points behind him

The Chinese will now spend hours orally digesting just what this mysterious place called Mcdonalds has to sell. They ask if they have Beijing noodles, hot pot and jiaoze. They inquire about any items that Mickey D’s may have but which do not appear on the menu and about the temperature outside. They demand a cup of water-warm, as they peruse Mickey D’s delicacies.

After an eternity, they spit, bitch slap and harangue the McDonalds chef, in what is called ‘placing an order’ in China.

After this, they barge into whomever is close to them, shoot out a few lodes of phlegm and then hover over the counter.

You take a baby step forward and then you hear.

Chinese at mcdonalds- ‘ grumble grumble, give me food.’
Mcdonalds ‘chef’- ok what do you want

Chinese at mcdonalds- what do you have?
Mcdonalds ‘chef’- ‘look at the board’ points behind him

….

At this time your best options are to hop a flight outta here or self flagellation, being a masochist, you choose the latter.

When viewing the afore-mentioned scenario, most Chinese would proclaim, .’wow, China has too many people’

To which I now reply,’no, China has too many idiots’

Sure China has boatloads of ‘spares’ but thats not the real problem, is it? Manhattan and Mexico City have as many people, but in those cities you invest less time waiting for your order than you do for a obtaining a Doctorate, which is untrue in China. The reason, Chinese are dumb.

Instead of calling a spade a spade and admitting that the Chinese still behave like the Flintstones, people here make excuses.

You ‘why does it take a guy 33 minutes to take out 100 rmb from a bank?’ Chinese,’hahha, yes China has too many people’

You ‘why dont the Chinese read the menu before placing their order?’ Chinese,’hahha, yes China has too many people’

You ”why do Chinese all line up to take the exact same photo to paste on their Weibo?’ Chinese,’hahha, yes China has too many people’

After a while you are like, ‘wtf? Is the problem with China that it has too many people, or that between them they have too few brains?’

You then do the calculus, you watch, you listen and you learn and inevitably you have to conclude, ‘China has yet to achieve a critical mass of grey matter which would allow it to perform at a level required to be a contributing member of the modern world.’

Once you have reached this epiphany, China becomes such an easy gig. I reached this point about 2.3 minutes after arriving in China.

Have a great day, unless you are in China. If you are, it is enough just to survive…

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