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An American in China

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China through the lens

Chinese Tourists, aka Global Menace Attack

Posted by w_thames_the_d on January 2, 2015


Chinese tourists are known for a couple of things. First off, they redefine the term ‘rube’ with those big billed hats, one-size-fits-all shirts and incessant yapping. Indian corn colored teeth coupled with breath that could atomize coal make them a fan favorite for no one.

Aside from their utter lack of concern for aesthetic appeal, they are also known to be rude. Toting along Chinese civility with them wherever they go, the Chinese eat, spit and shit wherever they please. Aside from this their manners are on display as those howler monkeys foray into civilized lands.

Here is an example of the latter…

Wantchinatimes.com
Two Chinese tourists argued and fought with a Thai traveler at Bangkok’s Don Mueang International Airport after the latter tried to stop them from cutting in line, reports our Chinese-language sister paper Want Daily.

The Thai passenger sought to stop the two Chinese women from cutting in line before the Lion Air check-in counter at the airport on Friday. The two women argued fiercely and the man found himself being chased around the airport as the two women waved their arms trying to hit him until airport staff intervened.

Staff took the women to the police station and arranged for them to take a flight back to China. Lion Air said the Thai man was scheduled to take a flight at 10pm on the day and the two women were scheduled for an 11pm departure.

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Posted in China Fact, China What they are commenting online, Cultural oddities, Let me educate you..., News From China- Whats hot, People, Photos, Ranting in general, Uncategorized, Working and Living in China | Tagged: , | 2 Comments »

Scandal at APEC, Putin Hitting on Xi Jinping’s Wife?

Posted by w_thames_the_d on November 11, 2014


Did Vladmir ‘Pooty Pute’ Putin score at APEC?

Putin
‘This meeting is so fucking boring. I wish there was something fun to do; kill Ukrainians or something’

China’s first lady thinking, ‘I wish i could meet real man. Not only is Xi’s pecker the size of a hangnail, but it quit working decades ago. And what is with all that lipstick he wears? Oh sigh,…I Wish i could get some strange…’
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China’s first lady to herself.’To hell with it, looks like Xi would rather be canoodling with Obama than his Major General wife. That wanksock.’ Straightens her hair, hacks up a wad of phlegm and spits.

Then to Putin,’That way, over there.’
Putin, ‘Huh?’

China’s first lady, ‘A hotel. It has big bed.’

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Putin, yawns, ‘Interesting.’ Turns away.

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40 minutes later
Putin, thinking, ‘I am at the end of my rope. If they don’t bring me somebody to torture I’m going to die. At least let me kick and Afghani in his nuts or something.’

Glances around, mumbles, ‘Shit this is boring. Who but the dumbass Chinese would hold a November summit in a swimming pool?

It’s cold as hell. My hammer and sickle are the size of mice paws. Damn the Chinese!’

Then it hits him. He glances over, sees Xi practically in Obama’s lap and has an idea. His mind races, ‘What the hell am I thinking, I am Vladimir Putin, the sexiest midget on the planet. They don’t call me ‘Vlad the Impaler’ for nothing.’

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To himself, ‘Looks like its time for another invasion. Heheh. Turns to Peng Liyuan who just then had groped his summer sausage.

‘Uh, hey. You are in the military, right?’

China’s first lady, face reddening, ‘Why yes, yes I am. In the dance troupe actually. Did you know that after the non-massacre in 1989 I treated the troops to a lulaby.’

Putin, face tightening in remorse. Thinks to himself, ‘The shit a guy’s got to put up with in order to get some tang.’

Then remembers that ‘first hag’ Peng is still talking, glances back at her liver lips blubbering.

China’s first lady, ‘Why yes I did. Anything for the motherland. Why if you would like, I could sing that same song to you right now….’

Without missing a beat, first hag breaks into an ear splitting rendition of ‘its ok, its ok, its ok to kills students for the motherland….!

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Right as she reaches the climax of the song and is ready to hail those brave men who fearlessly crouched in their tanks and spewed forth a 50 caliber reminder that Beijing should not be questioned, Putin had enough. He springs to his feet and lifts her up.

Clamping his pepper shaker sized paw over her mustard colored maw, he dry humps her and whispers, ‘You ever eaten Russian?’

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After moments of frenzied thrusting followed by a minor tremble, the two decouple. She is ecstatcic, ‘Wow you Russian bear! I think we pulled a Monica and Clinton. Is that your man-mayonnaise on my back or did somebody hit me with sherbert?’

Putin smiles in that cagey, ‘Take your eyes off and me and your dead,’ look. Then chuckles, ‘Don’t worry ‘old yeller’, I got just the thing for that. We can cover up our little escapade with this.’

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China’s first lady, ‘Why yes, yes, this will do just fine.
My my my, what a splendid night it has been.’

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After a good scrubbing, she hands back the coat.

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‘Now it’s your turn,’ she giggles and crouches under the table.

Posted in Beijing Smog, Big brother..., China, China Fact, China What they are commenting online, Chinese sayings, Counterfeits and such, Cultural oddities, Food, Jobs, Let me educate you..., News From China- Whats hot, People, Photos | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

Comprehensive List of All the things You Will Love About China- Tales from the Crypt

Posted by w_thames_the_d on November 9, 2014


Living in China has made me an authority on China. In my quest to share such knowledge, I have started my ‘Tales from the Crypt’ posts which explain in detail the realities of China.

The following is a comprehensive list of all the things you will love about the PRC, should you decide to visit and or live there:

.

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Posted in Beijing Smog, Beijing Smog- Daily pics, Big brother..., China, China Fact, China What they are commenting online, Chinese sayings, Counterfeits and such, Cultural oddities, Food, Jobs, Let me educate you..., News From China- Whats hot, People, Photos | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Tales from the Crypt- Mao’s Rotting Corpse and Soul-less Chinese, Working in China

Posted by w_thames_the_d on November 2, 2014


I read some book by a lady with a name too long to pronounce and hard-coded with far too many consonants to remember, but that book is a primer on China. In a while I will dig up her name but lets talk about the PRC first.

I never wanted to go to China, Asia was not my thing. My uni had a few China-philes but we didn’t run together. My preference was for all things Spanish. Their zest for life, the colors, the language, music, their inner being.

It was with not a little sadness that I flew the coop on a supposed one-year stint in China, which was to be capped off with a thorough body wash and then return to all things civil. One thing lead to another and Days turned to weeks and suddenly the calendar was replacing ‘0’s with 1’s and my 365 year gig had septupled.

The words ‘love’ and ‘passion’ were not associated with my stay there. In fact, ‘morbid curiosity’ and ‘masochism’ are more likely candidates for anything I felt. The simple fact is that China has a tar black hole in its inner-most being which most people associate with the complete and utter absence of good and humanity. Perhaps I should explain…

Headings go here..
To keep myself from wandering, I will slap headings before my rant. These will also let you keep track of which path my ADD enhanced mind currently rambles down.

Chinese are soulless
Referring back to the book whose name I cannot recall, I would like to say that Chinese are cruel. No, not in that ‘fat school kid who always got picked on’ way, but that deep down cruelty exposing an excess of depravity that only thousands of years of hatred and grief could create. The People in China are the most soulless i have ever met.

Lets reflect on that sentiment for a moment.

My job has taken me to some pretty rough places and my natural charm and endearing way has put me in the path of some very strange people. I’ve guns pulled on me by Mexican cops, been robbed by the law in Brazil too. Those men were tender compared to the Rio mulatto who tried to separate my internal organs for me just to get at the coin in my pocket.

What all those people had in commom, for the most part, was a sense of humanity. Sure that guy in Rio did not look like a saint as he gashed at my innards so I would stop pummeling him with blows, but before it all went down, his eyes flashed human. He was merely a homeless person with friends and family to feed. Had I given him cash he would have had no reason to attack me. I did not and he did. Lucky for me it ended in a draw. He and his buddies got the equivalent of $0.50 and I got away unharmed. But as I said, inside he was human

Chinese are cruel
It may sound a little less than politically correct to say this, but Chinese are inhumanly cruel. As you may have figured out, ‘trouble’ and ‘your humble author’ are pretty good friends. It does not follow me, but for some reason I pursue it with a vigor. My day job taxes my boredom bone which leaves me empty. Chasing danger fills a need which sitting on my ass for eight hours at a time cannot. The benefit of this hobby is that it has enabled me to peer into the souls of the most depraved people one could meet. But almost without exception, in all that depravity I saw a spark, a smidgeon of goodness. That quick glimpse of humanity quickly covered over by grief, greed or madness. Nonetheless, inside there was something human with which I could relate.

And then came China
China is famous for its ‘kill all but one child’ policy, but to those people it is nothing new. In fact, baby killing or infanticide is as old as China. A couple thousand years ago some pig-faced emperor declared that starving families could dine on their child, as long as it was a girl.

When these people were not noshing on female femurs, they were tossing them off cliffs. The Chinese had a custom of discarding unwanted baby girls into a pile on the outskirts of town. This started before China proper itself, and is still happening today.

The Chinese are inhumanly cruel

But what does this have to do with working in China?
Dragging my liberated brain back to the subject matter, I contend that thousands of years of inhumanity have deformed the mainland DNA. Sure, there are great people in China, but that layer of sickness pervades. You see it in the way they treat each other, their kids, animals and especially you. The Chinese are inhumanly cruel.

The book written by the woman whose name has too many consonants spoke about this, tangentially at least. She writes about a Canadian woman who came to China not long after I did. That woman was looking to be a model and lit in Shanghai. After doing bar gigs she found herself on the wrong end of some steel and was filleted by some local. The poor woman never even saw it coming.

Chinese will lie
This woman, like most of us, probably thought China was no different than anyplace else. Of course it may be rough, but the Chinese were human, right?

Her innocence lead her into the steaming bowels of inhumanity that typifies Chinese business today. In a country which predicates the permitted murder of infants on their perceived ability to generate wealth, civility is stuffed in the trunk. China is to society what ‘Oz’ was to prisons, a perfect storm of neurosis, predation and opportunity which lead to the dehumanization of everyone. In China it is truly a dog-eat-dog world.

Just the facts sir
Back to the woman and the book with a name. I now recall, ‘the City Swallowed Them’. The author describes this poor Canadian who was brought to China under false pretenses, which aptly describes just about anyone who has worked there.

Jobs in China and people pimping them abound, and they all share one common theme. If you work in China, you are going to get fuked. It is the nature of the beast.

Chinese worship cash
Perhaps its the thousand year history of monetizing the suffering of others or some latent gene sprung to the fore by a controlled gene pool, but the Chinese often lack that which the rest of the world would call humanity. They think nothing of twisting truths and luring people from 6000 miles away and then abusing them as if they were chattle. Lies, treachery, manipulation, the grease enabling China’s economic rise.

In my life I have never been cheated out of a day’s wage, with the exception of China. In that country I have never not been cheated, with the exception of helping friends, there were no exceptions.

The difference between the Canadian woman who was killed in Shanghai and so many gullible westerners and me is that I came prepared. I’ve danced with the darkness, and knew what to expect. In China its every man for himself, a thing which is readily apparent. You pick up quickly on that and up your game, or you bitch and leave. China leaves no middle ground, you either attack or become tomorrow’s lunch.

This trait seemed to be common in the foreigners I met there. They were either ‘deer in headlights’ townies whose frustration had them calling daddy within months or those who merely rode the wave. They sealed themselves off from the subhuman vacuum and minimized contact with China. They stuck to their clique, worked gigs recommended by friends and saw China for what it is.

China is a swamp
Which brings me to the conclusion of this rant. China’s spiritual pestilence has a stultifying effect on one’s soul. In a country where random acts of ‘kindness’ are replaced with ‘treachery’ hardens one’s heart. Like I said above, this means you either get with it or get out, the thing to remember is that in China nothing is for free. Think about it like this…

If you are truly thinking of going to China, read a book or two. Try anything from the mid 19th century and you will have a good idea of what the. PRC is all about. Any country which condones the consumption of its children is not a good place. Remember I said that this was a holdover from antiquity, well I failed to state that it is still alive and well. In fact, there are still Chinese padding the streets with infant blood on their hands, during the late 1950’s and up the the late 60’s, Mao’s madness threw China into chaos and famine. In order to survive, the Chinese literally ate their youth. Jasper Becker can tell you all about it, just run an Amazon search on his name.

Now consider, if a people will go so far as to feast on the flesh of their own, what will they do to you?

Think about that as you consider that fantastic Teaching job in China or guided tour there. The Chinese are inhumanly cruel. Why else would the face of the world’s most prolific murderer adorn each and every banknote they have?

China should be treated with the same pestilence that it treats its youth and its livestock. Consider it the Ebola of humanity and cordon it off from your life.

Posted in China Fact, Cultural oddities, Food, Jobs, Let me educate you..., News From China- Whats hot, People, Photos, Prices in China, Product Quality, Subway, Traffic, Uncategorized, Video | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »

Marketing Fail in China – De ‘Rong’ Company??

Posted by w_thames_the_d on November 2, 2014


Check out this picture and tell me what you think. I really don’t know where to start. Chinese ‘learn’ English for at least years but treat it like embryos and or religion, it massacres them.

What is this idiotic Chinese company trying to say and sell?

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Posted in Counterfeits and such, Cultural oddities, Let me educate you..., Photos, Product Quality, Ranting in general | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »

Fine Dining in China- Beijing Photo

Posted by w_thames_the_d on July 6, 2012


Here are some of China’s elites getting their grub on. Don’t let their casual attitude fool you, deep down inside of them breathes the heart of a true communist zealot!

Fine Dining in China

Fine Dining in China

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Beijing Air Pollution Pic

Posted by w_thames_the_d on July 6, 2012


This is the ‘sky with Chinese characteristics’. Lately the air in Beijing is as stifling as the communists. The pollution index is pegged at 205 or, inhumanely bad, but its not that. There seems to be a chemical taste and smell to it. I wonder if Beijing had an ecologicl oopsie lately….

Chinese smog

Chinese smog

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New High Tech Tank Part of China’s Peaceful Rise- Top Secret Photo

Posted by w_thames_the_d on June 25, 2012


According to this site, China will have a new high tech tank in a few years. I drug my fat ass all over this shit stain looking for it and as you can see I was successful.

This is a photo of China’s high tech weapon of destruction during maneuvers. As you can see, they are stress testing the frame…

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Photo of Why Chinese Women Do Not like Dating Chinese Men

Posted by w_thames_the_d on June 15, 2012


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Tiananmen, Official Version – From Mylaowai.com

Posted by w_thames_the_d on June 4, 2012


http://www.mylaowai.com brings the funny with this, its a classic.

Actually he’s, imho, the funniest blogger on the planet. Check out his site. He’s not blogging as much  anymore but has tons of older stuff to read. Take a few hours and give him a look.

 

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