Understanding China, One Blog at a Time

An American in China

Archive for January, 2012

Chinese Progress

Posted by w_thames_the_d on January 31, 2012

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The King on Chinese TNT

Posted by w_thames_the_d on January 31, 2012

Here is a brief rant by the King.
Long live the King…
” I decided to post this on Darwin Awards (I also suggest you do the same, it’s excellent therapy). China should just vanish in a stinky black hole. That way the other 100 Million SANE Chinese who actually do shit, and are nice to people the ones that ESCAPED the Big Stinky, can breath fresh air. And it’ll free up lotsa resources for humanity.

But thank you for the post about the 4 Bubbas who blew themselves up in Longnan, over a parking spot. with LIVE TNT. Like holy shit they could have just picked up some rocks, broken beer bottles, their shoes, the loose construction blocks or their cell phones or hard hats (ha ha ha good one, hard hats), but going around throwing sticks of TNT at each other and blowing up 16 other people, who didn’t have the ummm sense to say holy fuck there are 4 morons blowing each other up with…….. *face palm*. Fuck you China. just fuck you… I wonder if the by standers DID deserve it.

Normally, the natural thing to do when some thing sparkles very very angrily, is to run away from it. Like you see the sticks have fuses, that hiss like a kitty cat with PMS, or an average Chinese chick. And hell not even animals would stick around. They’d see the fire, and say oh fuck FIRE! and run away. But holy shit, what the hell did the workers THINK was going to happen!?!?!?! Too many video games where heros just strug off Machine gun fire (Call of Duty).

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My Boss Mr Pecker- off topic

Posted by w_thames_the_d on January 31, 2012

I just had an ADD moment. The CEO of American media, the company who produces men’s health and muscle and fitness magazine is named David Pecker…WTF?
How do you not change your surname from Pecker to something more obtuse, like schlong, jimmywhack or something?

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Clarification on Last Rant

Posted by w_thames_the_d on January 31, 2012

Ok, perhaps I d better clarify a few things about my previous rant. All the stuff I said about skyping poems and cannibalism etc is true, but what I d like to explain is what kind of Chinese come to the USA.
Most Chinese are no different than we are, perhaps a bit shorter, but fundamentally the same. As a matter of fact, I’d go as far as saying that number of people is around 1,000,000,000.
(The remainder arethe communists, about 80 million, and the filth they call their heirs (with a sprinkling of other undesirables).
Those good people, the one billion, they never make it to the USA, or if They are brilliant they may end up at Harvard, but they number in the hundreds. The rest of them, are the brood of the dictatorial thugs running this stinkpot.
I had the extreme displeasure of lecturing at a few universities here and the poor folks are not welcom in the most influential universities. And international programs, forget it. Those whose folks have the cash got it from dads and grandparents who were in the military or communist members, ask them, see what they say. They will stare at their spindly legs and mumble something about civil servants or claim their dads in business. And perhaps he is. Chinese state owned enterprises, those breeding grounds for ineptitude and theft are by definition filled with communists. It’s much easier for them to call dear old dad a businessman than a thief.

As for tourism, it’s the same. The good folks are stuck here while the phlegm balls get a free pass to the land of milk and honey. The Chicoms are on business visas, aka corporate boondoggles. Sure they wil spend some time at a plant or two, steal some secrets and pass off their hidden “helpers” , but then it’s off to Vegas for roulette and some coozle.

The corporate junkets, both here and back home, are nothing less than little gifts the Chicoms believe they are endowed, after all, it was their folks who stole this place isn’t it?

Consider this as that Chinese tourist elbows past you at Nieman Marcus…

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Skype an Anti Cicom Poem, Go to Jail in China

Posted by w_thames_the_d on January 31, 2012

People be ware..
Some guy in china skyped anti chicom messages and poems and will soon be spending his days in gen pop.Yeah, a guy in china will be doing time for his skype messages.
Good thing we as a people do nothing but support the murderous thug regime and do not hold their feet to the fire and tell the truth about this place.
After all, who wants to think that the nice little Chinese couple down the road had a hand in the forced sterilization of those people in liyin, or the murder of their kids, after all, that was a few years ago.
Our unis surely would not like us to know that the guy who sits next to you in American civ, is the son of a man who was party to the wanton theft and cultural genocide in the western provinces.
And as for Obama the great half step, he’s inviting more of them over, what a moron. Great idea America, let’s get more of those sniveling chicom cowards to visit our country and why not bring along their pregnant old yeller wives, we need more people right?
Sad thing is that it’s tough for the good ones to get a visa, but those ‘government employees’ aka commie fks, have little to no trouble. Trust me, I ve seen it happen. Just think about the gene pool of the next batch of Chinese tourists you see stumbling along the streets of your fair town. They grew up ratting out their parents, eating their siblings and swearing a blood oath against us, but don’t worry, they love us now.
The more I see of their government the more I realize Mao was a genius, they need to be muzzled and jailed. Now that was sensible Mao thought. Long live Mao thought….

But oh yeah, china is about the peaceful rise….(ps I have some great arties from the king, you ll see them tomorrow)


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Public Urination in China

Posted by w_thames_the_d on January 30, 2012

Chinese displaying their couth. Mom, dad and little disappointment all together. In site of the whole country and fifteen feet from public restrooms, the chinese allow their kid to urinate near a park bench

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Hey China Space Program Suck on This- Canadian Teens Better China

Posted by w_thames_the_d on January 30, 2012

Two Canadian teens, by themselves did what it took China billions PLUS stolen tech.
These guys sent a Legos rocket into outer space.
Suck on this chicoms…
“A Lego Man is launched into space Jan. 26, 2012. Two Toronto high school students launched a Lego man some 80,000 feet into the stratosphere.
from here

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The King Returns- Poetic Rant by Gowron

Posted by w_thames_the_d on January 30, 2012

The king is back and in rare form.

Here’s a piece of his latest

From the King!
“Anyways some news I found…… (I usually post a link now, and a funny caption or rant after) Tonights episode ironically comes from Shenzhen just an hour away from Free China, where I enjoyed the internet and facebook freely. China takes away my facebook friends, makes me watch fucking soap operas (although Natasha from My Natsha is fucking hot)…. Once I get my VPN up and running, (still to busy at work, thanks to fucking Mr Screw (Lu). Fuck you Lu fuck you. Sometimes I just type in China news and all sorts of evil shit pops up. China is such an evil country. That’s my problem with it.

over the Christmas break I went to watch a movie finally at one of these Chinese cinemas (a glorified DVD player with some grungy seats. One movie was about a quartet of gay Chinese tight pantses jerking off to porn (yeah right), and the nerd gets splooged on yeah right (like honestly Chinese girls just don’t turn me on. They either have that stupid mellon cut, or have really silly hair), the other movie I watched was Final Destination 5. ( a continuation of an American series about young people dying in terrible freak accidents orchastrated by death). Somehow giving my first year in China….. this doesn’t amuse me. It bores me actually. This is REALITY. Like you posted in 2010, bridges and buildings that collapsed or I posted about people fucking each other up with knives, and coming up with “Chinese Taxi”, and I know I’ll find alot of players of this game. China is such a pariah. Like this Final Destination is REAL….. REAL…… and that’s not cool.

Like I’m still glad and happy I’m Chinese and all, but still these people REALLY knows how to Big Stinky things up. Chinese mainlanders and over seas Chinese, two entirely different spieces. And to be frank, I really don’t give a damn if my ancestors ghosts are hovering over me with a sythe. They had all this time to help China evolve through the centuries, or fuck THIS century, but they just wanted to lazily just leave things the status quo, their xenophobia and arrogance, A collection of crumbing houses, with insects and garbage everywhere. What pisses me off most about Chinese people, is their inability to accept adult responsibilty for the problems THEY caused. It somehow is England’s fault, (despite the quality of life in Hong Kong is infinite times more civilized than China). Somehow it’s always JAPAN’S fault. China needs a good spanking, but not on it’s bum. Chinese baby bums are covered in Big Stinky things. Here’s to hoping that in the year of the Dragon, something really fucked up happens, that humbles humans Jesus comes down and finally bitch slaps the Chairman, and the rich arrogant Chinese CHRISTIANS (honestly I have zero percent love for the isolationist Chinese Christian churches, only labor for the salvation and unity of the CHINESE Christian community instead of a GLOBAL salvation of MAN (all humans). The Chinese STILL managed to fuck up the message of Christ. I hate Chinese families, I hate those stupid Wong Lao Gee (this strange juice in a can), New Years commercials showing false happy families. (like at least with Caucasians, these notions of the howdy doodew Ron Howard, Normal Rockwell families are REAL (hell I fell MORE at home with my brother’s WHITE inlaws. Damn he broke up with a very friendly white family. They honestly gave a shit about me and my resume, his girlfriend even encouraged me to come out of my shy Chinese gamer autistic dimension I existed in… I’m a Starcraft kid what can I say. NO WONDER Azn pride families children are all these gamers. NO LOVING at home, just material possessions.

Like I took the bus with pops to the Chinese village (the home of that so called First NARC officer’s (opium wars, bullshit, the Chinese deals with these magical drugs before the British), and stupid Chinese new years programs on the Bus’s TVs, over joyed grand parents close up of their idiotic faces over their stupid as you call them “one child disapointments”.

The really CRAZY thing was a year ago before my metamorphius to adult, for 33 years I played the race card like an angry Fen-fag (Fenching, you know those stupid little faggeys on their little bikes and tight pants (with NO BULGE) and strange jackets (some strange plastic with fur?), except in High school, I didn’t have those clothes. I was however that fat ugly grunty…..

I can’t wait to get back to reality, get in touch with my productive “Scouts” mode again. (good adult citizenship, got lots of projects to help strenghen my community, lots of crazy ideas (the only problem is that people would see me for being Chinese-Canadian, and completely levy undue respect on ALL Chinese (which only like 4% of non mainland Chinese have earned, instead of the 96% REAL Chinese who fuck everything up in the Big Stinky) where democracy my own future is my fucking mannly responsbility. No blaming Japan, no blaming whitey. no waiting for rich Canadian family to give me money. Love how these faggies who run these electronics store once they hear me speak English. Ask where I’m from, and what not. then say “tsk, ta yao cheen” (damn he has money). Fuck you China.

Here’s to hoping the 3 Gorges dam finally bursts in 2012. Oh God all mighty please make this happen.


oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck etc etc etc. oh fucky fucky.

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“Obama is Hitler and Black People Steal” – Says a Beijing Cabbie

Posted by w_thames_the_d on January 29, 2012

“Obama is Hitler and Black People Steal” – Says a Beijing Cabbie

I caught a cab today, for the majority of the Chinese have not returned from their holidays and the place is unencumbered by so many spitting, howling citizens. The place, with the exception of the remaining souls, actually seems like a 19th century country.

The point of this missive, however, is not just to besmirch the name China, but to tell a story.

As I entered the cab this morning, the driver, a stout lady with meaty fists, non existent eyeballs and a shelf like brow, all the markings of an advanced species indeed, sized me up.

After a few moments of light talk, she asked from whence I hail.

The reason for this, if you did not know, was to establish just how low I was on the barbarian scale.

I am American, I said- strikes one, two and three.

Fulfilling her Mao’esque duties, she proceeded to tell me about my country.

“Obama is bad” she quipped, pointing her pumpkin like face at the mirror. ” Hitler, you know Hitler?

I nodded

“Obama is same as HItler.” she paused, hazarded a glance my way.

This woman, who is now 50, possesses early memories of the Beijing streets teaming with Mao lovers , pouring scalding water over teachers, berating one’s own parents and for whom ‘schools’ were nothing more than Mao love ins.

I laughed, “Hitelr, Obama is like Hitler?”

“Yeah,” she grunts. She proceeded to name off events like Iran, Iraq and Afghanistan, all to prove her point. I guess CCTV, China’s propaganda channel, forgot to inform her that Hitler’esque could be a term to describe the ethnic cleansing occurring in restive Xin.Jiang and Ti.Bet at this very moment.

I greed that Obama was bad and set down my Kindle, this woman was in it for the long haul.

“Of course America is good.” she glances my way, puggy bulldog jowels shaking. “Leaders bad, like to fight. ok?”
she proclaimed.

I conceded her point, after all we do like to fight. But then again the world needs a cop, that’s just the breaks.

“How was it in 1966, in China?” I asked. of course she dare not tell the truth, after all, I was just another ignorant barbarian, I had no clue of the mass murders, the beatings, the realities of it all.

“Bad, ” she said quickly. “No food.”

“No food?” I nod. During this period in which she learned about life, from 3million to 10 million people died. All universities were shuttered and calling your parents a capitalist roader was en vogue. Banners proclaimed the evils of the old ways and the west and they vowed to eradicate me and my kind.

“What else?” I asked.

“Black people bad.” she proceeded to explain she’d just picked up a black guy in her cab, a thing she usually avoids. The guy told her to wait for him as he’d run and get a friend then return. Forty minutes later he’d still not returned. “He stole from me” she said.

The sad reality is that the Chinese have spent thousands of years perfecting the art of xenophobia, they have the ‘long wall’ to prove it. This woman, my lesson for the day, was proof positive of the damages of communist propaganda and its effects….

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Extinct in China

Posted by w_thames_the_d on January 29, 2012

This site is becoming extinct in China…

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