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An American in China

Archive for February 5th, 2012

Long Live the King- Gowron Brings the Pain- Locusts, WOW and China

Posted by w_thames_the_d on February 5, 2012

Here is a poetic rant by Gowron – aka The King…..enjoy (ps the photo is of a Chinese kid pissing in the subway entrance, his mom and dad are helping him to do this)

From the magical pen of “The King”
“Speaking of Locusts, have you ever played Starcraft? back when it didn’t become the olympic sport it is today. When it was just a geeky game for 90’s kids, (like Pogs), Well anyways in that game, humanity’s dredges manage to form a regal civilization out in deeep space, and encouter an insect-reptile race of insects called the Zerg, and some Aryan (India) race called the Protoss…

Why do the Mainlanders remind me of zergs? Is it because you can only build your buildings (It’s one of those army resource building games), on some smily green paper machete like goop called the Creep. that slowly “creeps” onto land, terraforming it into some bio goo that nutures the parasites (eventually what the Zergs started out as). Just like the “Creep” (Chinese land covered in baby poop) and other biological matter that contributes to the Big Stinky, IN “Big Stinky”.

And then Hong Kong, Taiwan and other places where Chinese have escaped the Zergs where they do honest things like go to school in the states score high, invent weird shit, are the protoss and terrans? Like the CNN did a report on a very young Ship Captain, who was Vietnamese-American.

Another Blizzard game that paralelles China (and other polluted parts of the world, but mostly China is), Warcraft. In the “World of Warcraft” (based on the events of Warcraft 3), a race of Undead…. called the well Undead, have invaded a world still in it’s Mideval stages. They were created from a pandemic caused by a death cult (similar to the Black Plague), Anyhow, to build a base with the Undead the player builds on devestaged land called the “Blight” (radio active, green gassy radon (swamp goo, of Radioactive Carbon dating, urban decay (ie Detroit, Cleveland, or Vancouver (when ever the Canucks have a play off run) or Berlin after the battle of Berlin (and damnit, you control the RED player and capture the Reichstag, Mordor like terran), or something from Mad Max.

when travelling through northern China, traditionally aland without water. but a land REALLY without water after the reds really fucked around up there. one can see perhaps what the “Blight” would look like in reality. Broken houses, trash of all types, Fire pits of garbage, At night you see these orange embers in the black. Is quite armeggedon like. (especially if they decide to burn the trash in a garbage bin, on some unlit campus). The skeletal trees with Bony Claws, snaggling garbage bags, clothes, and all kinds of trash.

Like in rural North China, you have these desloate lights far apart if any, making it look like you’re on the Moon! or Tatooine, especially Tattoine from star wars. Then if you go to the South, where instead of dried up “Sarah” the Matriach in menopause from the bible), like womb land, you reach lush trees. No are further blessed with Vistas of the Blight, muddy trash soufled with shit, and biological wastes. strange metalic smells, Buildings dripping rust, urban decay.

And the people, the Chinese shuffeling around as if they really are zombies, or worse, very AGRESSIVE zombies, the more feral rabit ones, as they push each other, communicate with moaning groans, push about weaker zombies in their way.

Honestly, I REALLY don’t want to see what a Zombie outbreak would be like in China. But I can imagine it won’t be much different, braindead zombie soldiers, souless ramblers rambling about in a stupor. The smell of decay and rot from clothes strewn about, black putrid water, dead bodies, feral attacks, exploding gases and other materials like petrobombs, planes falling out of the sky, trains derailling…. Just another day in China I mean. But the people would be defenceless, no guns, and fireworks can only last so long.

It’s like China is Hades, or some hell dimension, that is beyond the imagination of gamers and movie makers. Like temples full of images of hell like tortures, demon defectors who defected to God’s side as fallen Gorgon super mutants. (Like if THAT doesn’t scare the Chinese into compliance, nothing will….). Ghostly frozen winds poverty stricken Tibetans, and people setting themselves on FIRE.

The Sad thing about China is…. this is just a typical Monday, just another work day, Monday sucks grumble to the office. Like these Zombie movies, these Ghost movies, War movies, accident movies, horror movies, -Superhero-King Kong, Mad Max-Water World-Postman movies are REAL here in China. These video games like Fallout-Gears of War-Killzone-Star Wars- are a typical day in the North. The REALLY sad thing about the Big Stinky, is that the Chinese are doing this, like humans, no giant King Kong ape throwing shit around, No Super heros throwing themselves into office towers with rocket suits, running and leapoing over cars on busy LA or NY streets, No Giant Lizards, robots, or armadas from space. Like those students slicing and dicing the children back in 2010-2011, That’s insane Freddy Krugger like shit (a child murderer-molestor), Like all those silly slashers where the teenagers have some party, and the goofy guy gets shanked. THAT happens.

Or those idiots that blew up 4 other idiot workers with TNT box. And the Death Van?!?!??1 It’s like China is some very very fucked up movie but it’s real….. it’s real…… Like kids complain oh noes I have to go to yucky school with mean ugly teacher. Yeah? does their school bus ride involve driving off cliffs by some drunk village clod? Or are they shanked by some weirdo?….

Anyways I go back to the Locust free Hong Kong to renew visa. And I’m dropping off a blood donation. That makes 4, yayeee go me! Honestly, Hong Kong should just hold a referrendum. Like look at Singapore, a country trize smaller than HK, and it’s a separate country. Oh well at least I get to finally check out your site, read the comments for the soul healing lulz. Post very foul comments all over my Facebook about how stinky this country is (and watch my friend count go down, but meh, real friends accept people for who they are and what they believe).

the good news is we’ve found a Canadian supplier, and occasionally get to visit civilization again. Take nice relaxing shit, and take nice relaxing baths, in clean water, Eat REAL food like REAL Pizza, REAL Henize Ketchup, REAL Burgers, REAL KFC (that’s important), breath REAL air, and throw my money in a a REAL bank, far far from the stinky prying piss scented fingers of some stupid skinny faggo boy in some tight tight pants and really silly hair! Hell I get to look at dudes, and see DUDES! I honestly can’t wait until I get my level 3 NTD I’ll make one last cocaine hit of Cash (honest cash for honest work, well on my end anyways), then F.O. To Brazil. The country is progressive, democratic (Progressive), It’s on the verge of some humanitarian-civilized, contribution cupst of change. (As for Canada, because Harper is an evil evil man, who’s doing deals with an evil evil country (China), I rather not support his government as of yet, however when Nobamaism and Harperism, clears I shall return to Canada), but Brazilians deserve me. INDIA deserves me (because they actually WANT TO CHANGE, sincerely).

If China wants to sincerely change, then where would be no problems. But conscientiously, because I’m a humanitarian, a racist of course (hey nobody’s perfect, blush blush shame shame. But I am what I am. My time in China, really brought out the inner ogre in me but it’s good. I’m HUMAN). See in Canada, you surpress human natures in a perfect programing of “Pleasantville” (Toby McGuire movie), or Archie Comic like pleasantness, this world is cool, people get along, but it’s NOT REAL, then you become immuned to the really screwed up shit in the world. Like say, child kidnapping for a prostutition-begging ring in Southern China, or Chinese overlords raping young children in a restraunt). Then you have really angry freak outs. But as they say in the Hockey business, it’s a good thing Coach Sutter is pissed off and disapointed and glares at you, and makes you feel like absolute Chinese baby shit dribbling out some baby’s ass, as he laughs and drools and makes the Big Ears Tutu (cartoon about a drooling retarded Chinese baby with handicapped problems, a effeminate dad, and a FUCK CHINAAAAAAAaaaaaa grrrraakhfaif 08ur8034308yt893 tqf ojsfh sofhoufhwoufhfoushf)…. peace sign and droools “Yeah”.

But in Brazil, although they do have problems of corruption and poverty, like any other 2nd world country. At least they have competent leaders and the FREEDOM to make Change, and they have. Like DeSilva’s reforms really moved Brazil in the right direction. Sure they’re not as rich as say China, and other emerging countries with in the BRIC that Canadian students had to learn about to prepair us to live in the geo-political post communist-post WW2, and Pre ww3 world, and Inshalla Allah Post CHINA world. But Brazil can now REALLY REALLY REALLY Grow. As Can India…..

As for China……. Stay stupid, stay shitty Thanks for two years of maturity, a quantum leap, 15 years over due. But better late than never. Like think about it I could be a 35 year old late bloomer, (thanks to ADD and Autism), but I could be a Yellow Fever 50 year old, wondering why in the fuck China never grew up from 30 years of molly coddling and encouragements to grow up, join Japan, America, Canada, Brazil, Burma, India….

Infact Vietnam as they slowly make reforms, and improve US relationships, could very well possibly shake off this government, hold elections, they’re honestly not as evil as China. And they’re actually get this, trying to live in peace and harmony with her neighbors. We can only hope that the Vietnamese can develop to a point it doesn’t need INSANE fear mongering, Blame Japan, childishness, and wean off communism.

Here’s to hoping counsilates of these emerging democracies in Asia, South America, does fair trade with the States, and that we’ve learned the lessons of plundering and greed, that inspired the ??? fuck fest? that was working with the psychotic Chinese. Because not ALL Chinese are as this. There are extremely Japanese-Korean (friendly people), living in Malaysia, Indonesia, Sinagapore, Hong Kong.

This is how humanity grows, humanity develops, through trade, honest creativity and trade. People can live, eat, be healthy, and input their unique inputs into the world, that will eventually get us off this stinky ball of poop called Earth, and into space, or transform Earth, before the savage zombie hordes of China retard the world to death. See China is like Japan-Korea and other Asian cities, except one BIG differenece. China is run by a bunch of silly monkeys jumping about smashing shit up, throwing things around…. But then it’s all Japan’s Fault isn’t it China. Yes it is. Somehow, everything Japan’s fault! I don’t know how it is….. it just is.

Fuck you China……….

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Beijing Fireworks, End Of the Lunar New Year

Posted by w_thames_the_d on February 5, 2012

China does not celebrate civilized new years, or they do, but their new year is different. They celebrate the lunar new year. It’s a time when the hookers go home and bump uglies with Kung pao, their beau. The Chicoms , now burdend with bedding their spouses are not suicidal, however, for it’s the time of bribes.

It’s been said that up to 40 percent of all bribes are given as gifts at this time. I have traveled to small towns at this time in years past and seen the excesses, the parties, the waste and the food.

It’s a good time to be out and about, the usually tight fisted china men act somewhat civilized, I guess it’s because they are trashed. Anyway, the streets are filled with Chinese who act lik e they are from anywhere but china. They smile, are polite, reminds me of a zoo.

The mirth, of course, revolves around cash. All the little repugnants have to cough up their bonuses or a part thereof to the old guard, their folks and grand ps. The problem is that while Mao made little sheep, he forgot one thing, that one day they would get old. And teaching them to hate and terrorize each other was probably fun to see, it equipped them with no real social nor business skills. Thus, we have a few generations of Chinese communists who are more worthless than the last. Natures way of quality fade, DNA style. So these people, armed with no social skills nor brains , either have become communist party leaders, or now roam the streets cursing foreigners.

When at rest from this task, they while away their time missing Mao and waiting for their kids to arrive. Upon arriving, the kids must cough up some money, Chinese old folks have no pension to speak of.

The kids hate their ps, and grand ps, the resent the intrusion into their lives and finances. The oldsters resent life, their kids and the new china. Sure they have money now, but this crazy world with electronic doo dads has left them in a quandary. Not only do they dress like bums and stink like cat urine, but they can’t even figure out how to use that new iPad thing.

The festival is over to the relief of all. The kids get to leave, and act like they are better than their folks, although they are not. Fr them the trauma of growing up with shared toilets and ignorance of everything is painful indeed. Their folks are happy they will go back to work for these kids are too uppity. No longer do they approve when mom swings her prune like jugs in her pajamas and stroll to the park. Now the younger set realizes just how fked this place is but can do nothing. After all, they are not good enough to leave and must deal with what their lineage has wrought.

Karma is a bitch and I’m happy to chronicle it for ya……

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