Understanding China, One Blog at a Time

An American in China

Archive for February 15th, 2012

Flatulence or ‘Smile Face’?

Posted by w_thames_the_d on February 15, 2012

This guy is China’s next head thug. Well not really. He will be the pres of China but the true power, that of the communist party will remain with the ‘butcher of lhasa’ or its current president for a few years.
My question, after looking at this pic is: wtf is wrong with chinese smiles, cant they even do that right? I would presume that this guy thinks that he is indeed, smiling, but to me it looks like
a) he just shit himself
b) he’s holding back a ‘burrito fart’
c) he’s playing the ‘air flute’
d) he’s mimicking a toad-

apple pic from http://www.comfytummy.com/2010/10/30/shrunken-apple-heads/

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Dog Bites Anchor- Chinese girl Dies

Posted by w_thames_the_d on February 15, 2012

Have you seen the video of that beautiful dogo Argentino who chomped the face of the tv anchor?
If you have not then check it here

Being a dog lover , I tend to think that the anchor had her head up her rear and invaded the pooches space. The bite didn’t look to bad, but the lady got seventy stitches so old poochie boy has got some killer canines….

The real,story is how great America is. For if you watch the background about the dog, it is epic. The poor hound was freezing to death in a lake as he had fallen in, or something like that. S some bad ass dude jumps into that freezing body of water and swims like a bastard with his nads now shriveled up like old raisins. In the end the hero saves the pooch and we all realize why God made America and calls it his summer home.

Video here

Or here

What’s is got to do with china?
In America, we have men, real men who will risk their lives for a four legged animal while china fields a nation full of heartless vermin that walk by an infant who has been run over not once but twice. And these soulless things would have not put themselves in danger by helping the girl, all they had to do was bend over and cradle her in their arms.
No wonder not even Chinese can stand to live with themselves.

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Are You Shitting Me?- Public Toilet in China

Posted by w_thames_the_d on February 15, 2012

In honor of the visit of Xi Jiping aka China’s next thug president and eunuch, I have decided to share with you all a bit of China at its best.
While Xi Jiping aka the caveman (he lived in a cave home in the late 60s and early 70s’) is whooping it up in the land of truth and justice, China is living like this.
Yeah, the kid pictured is taking a shit in front of no less than half a dozen restaurants, all of which has toilets. China, reverse Darwinism at its best….

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Boy Genius Writes Book

Posted by w_thames_the_d on February 15, 2012

Yahoo news ran an article about some kid they call a boy genius. He s got some weird name like cavalin and he s written a book-allegedly. The thing is that the kid started to write this book when he was 5, but he wrote it in chinese-allegedly.
Ok , here is the story. Some American kid has the misfortune of having a Chinese made mom. So this kid , who is called a genius, has written a book, or so they say. The thing is that as it is written in Chinese, who really knows how much help his mother, bread in the land of deceit, gave to him.
But the real story is that the kid was lucky enough to be born stateside for had he been born in china his life would have been filled with ten dollar hookers, land grabs and fear.
Cavalin you need to kiss your momma s yelled butt for the rest of your life, for you have no clue how close you came to being just anger cog in a 1,340,000,000 pronged wheel of opression.

Story on yahoo news google cavalin in news..

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Photo Submissions

Posted by w_thames_the_d on February 15, 2012

This site http://www.chinesepeoplehavenostyle.com is requesting photos of fashion miscues from China. The author is a consultant who is studying Chinese style or lack thereof.
If you have any good pics of Chinese sartorial splendor, outlandish or otherwise, check out the link and send him your pics.

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Wuhu China and Housing

Posted by w_thames_the_d on February 15, 2012

In the city of Wu hu , China… wait a minute.

Wu hu China…WTF is woo hoo China?

Wu hu implies a sort of levity or fun and this is China so first off any town which phonetically resembles any word that sounds interesting or fun should be banished.
I mean, wtf is a wu hu, is it like You hooooooooo?

The funny thing is that in the hardscrabble life of Chinese characters cum caveman scratches, there are only like 125,000 choices, so they are severely limited in word usage. Thus, they are stuck with words like Wuhu, which I am sure means something like ‘forbidden spring’ or some other bullshit.

Aside from this, they have a fanaticism for X’s and Z’s and foul them all up. X is sh and Z is like J and no matter what, by the time words come across their indian corn yellow teeth and garlic breath invades your nostrils, you have all but forgotten what the heck the question was to begin with, but back to Wu hu.

In my minds eye, Wu hu is a toxic little dump that at one time was picturesque but not any more. The livelihood of the locals, who stumble about in gray mao suits and every clan of a bakers dozen, share betwixt themselves only a triad of teeth, is to pick through refuse of some foreign country.

where, for each day and millionth of an ounce of something like cadmium or copper that they find, they are compensated an amount equal to a days wages in London in the 1800’s.

Health care is not even a word in the little hamlet for all of those with enough intelligence to figure out how to ‘get on that train thing’ have long since gone.

The local stores are filled with knock off products from floor to ceiling and a monthly bath is not even a notion the can fathom.

The mandatory communist leader of Woooo Hooo, has taken a dozen second wives, even though his man tool is down for the count.

Aside from digging through filth, the locals while away their time thinking of a simpler time. By nightfall they huddle in charred face masses, recounting the good ol days when all it took was to call your mom or dad a capitalist pig and you were the star of the hutong.

But now times are tough. selling off a kid or two will be a few months of gruel, but having kids sucks, after all, just take a look at these folks.

Misery, being what it is, has drawn these people to drink, but , unbeknownst to them, the mao tai they imbibe is nothing more than rubbing alcohol with a healthy dose of tainted water.
HIp HIp hooray for Wooo HOOOO

story about wuhu

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